Sleeping Jashinist
by NoodleRamen
Summary: Inspired by Sleeping beauty. AU. Rated M for Hidan. Read and review if you please :3
1. Chapter 1

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Only just finished my last story, but started on this one last week so thought I'd put up first chapter. Have not done very much of this just wanted to see what people think of the idea :3 It was obviously inspired by sleeping beauty. Hope you read and enjoy, and review if you like ^^**_

_**Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me.**_

There was once a great kingdom known as the Land of Hot Water. It was a beautiful place, with lush forest, mountains, and fertile plains. However the land was in peril. The kind rulers who had ruled the land fairly, and helped it become great had passed away many years ago. In their place, their only son had taken over. But while they had been kind and fair, their son was selfish and cruel.

He had been born blessed with the gift of immortality, so had very little regard for other people's lives. People were executed for minor crimes, and he feasted every night while his people starved. However this could not go on forever.

One day a group of travellers came from the nearby kingdom of Taki. When they entered the capital of Yugakure they saw many people on the streets, starving and dying of illness. Disgusted at the people's treatment, they went to the selfish young ruler and demanded that he show his citizens more respect. They demanded he change his ways, or they would be forced to take action.

Instead of listening to them, he taunted the travellers. What could they do to him? He could not die, and felt pleasure not pain. Sitting smugly in his throne he invited them to do their worst.

One of the men, the one who wore a mask stood forward. Unknown to the boy, this man was a powerful sorcerer and he was absolutely furious. Raising his arms he cursed the prince. He would fall into a dreamless sleep, and would never wake up until he was found by his one true love.

They left him in a forest, in a beautiful clearing surrounded by tall trees. Deer often frequented this area, and they would watch over the sleeping figure. The people rejoiced happy to be free, and the prince was left and forgotten.

...

"That's it?"

"Yep, that's the whole story"

"But muuuum, it doesn't have a _proper_ ending!"

"The citizens of the kingdom had a pretty good ending"

"But the prince was left out! Besides it's supposed to be a princess that gets put to sleep not the prince!"

"Stop fussing Shikamaru, it's time for bed"

"Humph" Little Shikamaru huffed "But I want to know what happened to the prince!"

Yoshino smiled at her young son before giving him a kiss on his forehead.

"Well maybe one day we will find out. But tonight you have to go to bed. Goodnight Shika"

"Night mum"

After she'd turned out the lights Shikamaru lay and stared at the glow in the dark stars he'd stuck on the ceiling. He wondered what had happened to that selfish prince, after he'd been cursed. No matter how bad a person was, it was too sad to forget about them. Lying back in his bed he closed his eyes, thinking that he may tell that story to his best friend Choji tomorrow.

And every night before he went to sleep, for many years after that, Shikamaru insisted that his mother tell him that same story.

-9 Years Later-

"Oi Shikamaru!"

_A voice was calling him. _

"Shikamaru!"

_He wondered who it was._

"Wake up Shikamaru!" He'd only had a few more blissful moments of sleep before a hard smack to the back of the head forced him back to earth.

"Honestly you're so lazy" Rubbing his now bruised head; he looked up at one of his best friends Ino, standing above him with her hands on her hips. "The last bell rang; it's the start of the holidays"

"Hn" Shikamaru made a noise that Sasuke would be proud of and stretched, yawning loudly.

"Hey guys!" It was their other friend Choji "Are you going to Naru's party tonight?"

"Of course I'm going! Sasuke-kun will be there~" Ino had a dreamlike expression on her face. Neither of the boys could see why. It was obvious to most that the Uchiha was gay, and obviously had a thing for Naruto.

"I guess it will be pretty fun" As lazy as he was, he still didn't like to miss out on time with his friends.

Their friend Kiba was giving them all a lift home that day, and as everyone around him chattered excitedly about the party and their holiday plans, Shikamaru was thinking about the dream that he'd been having. It was more of a memory though, rather than a dream.

It had been years since he'd last heard that story, about the spoiled prince. He may not be a child anymore, at the age of 16, but he still thought about it from time to time. For some reason it fascinated him, more than any other story he'd ever read, most probably due to the lack of obvious conclusion.

Waving goodbye to the others outside his house, he pushed all thoughts of that fairy tale from his mind, and went to get ready for the party.

-Page Break-

The drink was flowing, the music was loud, and everyone was having a good time in the way that only a group of teenagers could do. Shikamaru was quite content to sit in the corner watching everybody else interacting.

Ino was drunkenly swaying near Sasuke, trying to get him to dance with her whilst Sasuke in turn was trying to catch the attention of Naruto. Choji was watching Ino miserably, Lee was trying to flirt with a very unimpressed Sakura; and in the corner Kiba and Suigetsu were holding a drinking contest with two kegs of beer.

All in all it was a typical house party. As nice as these were, it did feel strangely... dull. Shikamaru enjoyed things being the same and enjoyed being lazy, but recently he'd felt strangely dissatisfied. It was like the norm wasn't good enough anymore, and something needed to change or else he would scream.

"Hey, you're quieter than usual. Something wrong?" Choji had obviously given up on trying to get Ino's attention and had decided to join his friend.

"Nothing in particular. Everything just feels more troublesome than usual"

"Yeah I guess I see what you mean" Choji stared over at Ino as he said this, obviously not paying complete attention.

"I'm gonna go get some air" Shikamaru stood up and went outside away from the noise inside. The air was unusually crisp for a summer night, but it helped clear his muddled head. There wasn't a single cloud in the sky, and the stars were bright. The moon was full, illuminating the garden.

"Oiii, Shikaaa what you doing out here?" Kiba and Naruto had their arms around each other's shoulders, and were swaying along, laughing. He had to laugh.

"You guys look completely off your heads"

"That's cause we arrrre" Naruto was slurring pretty badly, and practically falling over.

Choji and Shino came out to join them, passing Shikamaru a beer. As they all sat there drinking, Naruto suddenly stood up.

"We should go for a walk!"

"You really want to leave that lot in your house with no supervision?" Shino was probably the most sober.

"Yeah it'll be fun! Just the five of us!"

Walking down the grassy slope, the boys went through the hole at the bottom of the hedge that they'd been sneaking out of since they were small. Their neighbourhood was pretty interesting. To the right went rows of houses and a road that headed off towards a city. Whilst on the left there was a field, sloping up towards a small wooded area. They'd never been allowed in there as kids, but they'd always sneak in when given the chance. It had been a haven for young boys, with birds, foxes, badgers, and deer. Loads of wild deer. They had always been Shikamaru's favourite, and the best moment of his life had been aged 9 when he'd found an antler shed by one of the stags. It had been in pride of place on his shelf ever since.

"Oh my god guys!" Kiba looked pretty pleased with himself "Let's go for a walk in the woods!"

"Fuck yes!"

"But wouldn't it be dangerous when you're this drunk?"

"It's ok Shino, you and Shikamaru are here, you guys are always sensible" Shikamaru wasn't feeling too clear-headed but he was better than Choji who was still chugging back his beer.

"Right onward men!" Kiba led the way as they headed away from the party and into the quiet of the trees.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**And here is the next part :3 Enjoy~**_

_**Disclaimer: Naruto sadly isn't mine**_

This walk was looking like less of a good idea, as they got deeper into the woods. The noise of the party had completely disappeared, and they could only hear things like snapping twigs, and the occasional yelp of a fox. Even the artificial light of street lamps was gone, and the only light came from the moon illuminating a silvery path through the trees.

"This is spookier than I thought it would be" Kiba admitted sounding slightly shaky. The others silently agreed.

Although it was eerie, Shikamaru felt strangely calm in this place. Like it was natural for him to be here, at this time, with these people. He liked it.

Gradually the path they were following got narrower, and more overgrown. None of them seemed to want to turn back though, so onwards they went. Soon enough they were surrounded by tall bushes, with no idea which way they'd come from, and no idea which way led forwards.

"Sooo... Where we going now?" Naruto voiced what most of them were thinking.

"I'm pretty sure we came in through this way" Shino pointed at a part that looked identical to the rest of them "Lets head back now"

"But Shiiino, that party is so booring" Kiba clearly hadn't sobered up.

"Rather be bored, than dead"

"Don't be stupid, it's only about a mile from my house"

"It's definitely more than that now Naru"

"Don't help him Choji!"

Shikamaru wasn't really paying attention to what they were saying. There was one part of the surrounding bush that seemed slightly different from the rest. It was slightly discoloured, being more of a blue colour than the pale green. The leaves were also less spread out. It was like a doorway almost.

"Shikamaru? You ok there?" The others had stopped their conversation, and were now all looking at him.

"This part looks different to the rest" They all came over and peered into the foliage.

"You're right" Shino could see it too.

"Don't we look a bit stupid just staring at a bush like this?"

"That's what she said"

"Shut up Kiba, you're drunk"

Ignoring the chatter, Shikamaru put his hand in through the leaves. There didn't seem to be an end to it, and though he put his whole arm through, he could still feel the leaves.

"What are you doing?"

"Seeing if there's anything on the other side"

"But Shikamaru... it's just a bush"

"That's what she-"

"Shut it Kiba that joke doesn't make sense"

"I know but... I just want to have a look"

Taking a deep breath, he put his hands into the leaves and parted them clearing the way to get through. It seemed like it was never ending at first. All he could see was leaves and branches with no sign of an opening. The rustling noises he could hear told him that the others were following closely behind.

It came as a surprise when he finally came out the other side. It was a clearing surrounded by the same type of blue-ish hedge he'd just come out of, with trees peering over the top. The moon was shining down from the clear night sky, illuminating the area perfectly.

"Wow, never seen this place before"

"It's pretty big"

"That's-"

"One more time Kiba and I will break your face!"

"There's something weird about this place, not sure what it is though"

"What do you mean Shika?"

"I don't know it's..."

_They left him in a forest, in a beautiful clearing, surrounded by tall trees._

"It reminds me of this story my mum used to tell me"

"A story?"

"Yeah... a fairy tale"

"No offence Shika, but that sounds a little gay"

"You're the one who's gay Kiba"

"Fuck you Choji!"

"Err... guys? What is that?" They all stopped squabbling to see what it was that Naruto was pointing at.

In the middle of the clearing, was a raised platform made of wood. It was covered in intricate carvings, and looked almost like an altar in an open cathedral.

"It looks like a coffin"

"Don't say shit like that! You're freaking me out!"

"What? It does look like a coffin!"

"Well why don't you go over there and see for us?"

"Fuck that! I don't want to be attacked by a zombie!"

"Well someone should go have a look"

"Shika! You do it"

"Why should I have to?"

"Because you're the one who bought us here, _and_ you said seemed familiar"

"Fine I'll look. So troublesome" Shikamaru sighed before making his way over to the wooden structure.

As he got closer he could make out some of the pictures carved into the wood. Most of them were of things like poverty and suffering, truly disturbing images. Except for one. Right at the top was a carving of a man, standing triumphant in front of a cheering crowd. Yet there was no other image of this man on the stand. Strange.

Getting closer, He realised that the sides of the platform was slightly raised. It really did look like a coffin. Shikamaru gulped, and shuffled closer, wishing he didn't have to do this. Taking a deep breath, he peered down into the opening.

His heart stopped beating; he held his breath, unable to believe what he was seeing. A boy, not much older than himself lay there, looking so peaceful he could be asleep. Although the chances of him being alive were low, he was not rotting, or showing any signs of decay. Something was not right about this.

That wasn't the main thing that caused Shikamaru's breath to catch in his throat though. This boy was truly beautiful. His hair was slicked back and shining silver in the moonlight. He had pale skin, and a beautiful face, that looked peaceful as he slept. Around his neck hung a silver pendant, with a strange symbol in it.

Shikamaru didn't realise how entranced he was until the others began shouting at him.

"What's over there?"

"Yeah is it a zombie?"

"If it was a zombie, it would have already eaten him moron"

"That's pleasant guys"

Shikamaru turned to answer them, but as he did slipped on some loose earth beside the stand... and fell onto the apparently sleeping man. That in itself would be awkward. But things got worse after that. For he had landed with his lips meeting the other mans. Now that was awkward. Pulling away Shikamaru went to check he hadn't disturbed too much.

And had the shock of his life when instead of a deeply unconscious man, he found himself staring into deep magenta eyes, that seemed full of fire. The no longer unconscious boy stared a moment longer before deciding to voice his opinion.

"Who the fuck are you, and what the fuck am I doing here?"

_This really isn't good_ thought Shikamaru _so, so troublesome._


	3. Chapter 3

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me**_

Pulling himself into an upright position the man stared around the clearing, before scowling at Shikamaru again.

"Oi! I asked you a fucking question! I said who the fuck are you?"

"I'm Shikamaru Nara" This had to be a dream. He was most definitely going to wake up soon and find he'd fallen asleep at the party, where some moron (probably Kiba) will have drawn a penis on his face.

"And what the fuck did you do to me?" Pinching his arm didn't seem to be having any effect, so maybe he'd try humouring the angry dream man.

"Absolutely nothing. I just found you this way"

"You found me? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"You were sleeping there, I accidentally woke you up, and I am sorry for that. I shall leave now and let you get on with whatever it is you were doing" And with that Shikamaru turned and went to walk away from the crazy person, and back towards his friends who were all looking pretty confused. He didn't get very far before a hand gripped his arm and pulled him backwards.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?"

"Err... Home?" This was getting weird.

"You can't just leave me here! Do you have any fucking idea who I am?"

"No I don't, and I'm sorry but there's not much I can do" This was starting to get as irritating as it was worrying.

"Listen you stupid fucking peasant!" _Peasant? _"I'm fucking prince Hidan of the land of hot water, and I fucking order you to take me home!"

...

_The land of hot water...?_

"Err... Do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"You don't have any fucking right to ask me anything!"

"Just one thing... Is the capital of this land of hot water called Yugakure?"

"You fucking liar! If you know the capital then you must have known who I am!"

_No way... _

"This can't be real... That was a fairy tale!"

"Eh?" The man, he now knew was Hidan, was staring at him with both confusion and anger in his eyes.

"Can you wait here just a second?" Shikamaru dashed back towards the others ignoring the angry shrieks of the strange man.

"What the hell is going on?"

"Yeah what's that guy doing there?"

"You guys are not going to believe this..."

"What?"

"Choji, do you remember that fairy tale my mum used to tell us?"

"Yeah of course, it was your favourite. Why?"

"Well that guy over there... is prince Hidan of the land of hot water" Silence followed this statement.

"Are you shitting me?" Kiba looked pretty cynical.

"You sure you haven't been smoking anything?" Shikamaru gave Naruto a harsh look.

"Go over there and ask him. I'm pretty sure he'll tell you exactly the same thing"

"No way! The guy looks weird. He probably has some kind of mental problem"

"Well if that's the case, we can't just leave him here" Shino thought for a second before continuing "Someone's going to have to take him home"

"I can't take in some random guy; Tsunade-baachan would kill me!"

"Ditto for me, we have enough with the dogs"

"My parents don't mind extra people, but that guy sounds like a psycho. He'd be better off in a mental institute."

"Hey Shika, why don't you do it?"

"What the hell Naru, I can't take him home"

"But your dad's barely ever there, and your mum won't notice. Besides you're the one who woke the guy up"

"He does make a good point"

"Shino! Why can't you do it?"

"My father will refuse. He barely lets me have close friends stay the night"

"Come oonnn Shika"

He scowled at the troublesome morons in front of him, finding it hard to believe they would do this to him. Sighing, he gave them one last venomous glare before walking back towards Hidan. The strange man had stood up and was stretching himself, obviously stiff from years of sleep. Noticing Shikamaru returning, he gave him a dirty look.

"Don't just fucking walk away and leave me here! Asshole!" Shikamaru found it so hard not to leave. This was just too troublesome.

"Ok, I'm not sure how to tell you this"

"Tell me what?" Hidan was looking agitated.

"Your country... kind of doesn't exist anymore" There was a short moment of silence before the volcano erupted.

"What do you fucking mean it doesn't exist anymore? I've only been gone for a few fucking days at most! It was that masked fucker wasn't it? He fucking destroyed it!"

"That wasn't what happened"

"What did then?"

"You've just been asleep for... a _very_ long time"

"How long have you fuckers been looking for me then?"

"I just found you by accident, I don't know if anyone's been looking for you"

"Oh" That was all he said. Shikamaru felt sorry for the guy. It was not only the fact that his kingdom was gone, and all the people he'd known had died. No one had looked for him. People hadn't even cared he was gone, they'd been happy if that story had been anything to go by. Not that he was ever going to tell Hidan this. He'd been silent for a good five minutes now, and Shikamaru needed to tell him he was coming home with him.

"Um... Hidan?" The other man barely acknowledged his presence "Are you ok?" That was probably a pretty heartless question.

"What the fuck do you think?" It was definitely the wrong thing to say.

"Listen, you can't just stay here. My friends and I were talking and we thought you might want to stay with one of us"

"Too fucking right I will. You're a fucking peasant; it's your job to serve me!" Shikamaru was starting to rethink his offer.

"Err... right. Just come with me"

"You have a fucking carriage right?" Shikamaru stared.

"Not exactly..."

"Well I'm not fucking walking"

"We don't have carriages anymore"

"What the fuck do you use then? Horses?"

"No... It's hard to explain, but I don't have anything we can use so we'll have to walk"

"Fucking bullshit!"

"Sorry, but we're going to have to" Shikamaru had a migraine "So troublesome"

-Page Break-

It had only been ten minutes and Hidan had already managed to piss off all 5 of them. Even Shino, who was renowned for being pretty calm, was starting to get irritated.

"I don't blame that wizard guy for sending him to sleep" Kiba hissed "But why the hell did he have to make a way to wake him up?"

"I really don't know, but I might knock him out and drag him back there if he doesn't stop whining"

Hidan had a very whiny voice at the best of times, and when he started complaining it drove everyone absolutely insane. And so far that had been all he did. It wasn't just the fact that he had to walk, or the fact that he'd had to look alone for his scythe (No one was sure why he had it, but he'd almost had a fit when they'd tried to leave without it). He complained about them too. They had all had to restrain Choji, when Hidan had called him a 'fat fuck'.

"How much fucking longer? This is so fucking endless!"

"It's barely been ten minutes!"

"Well I want a fucking break!"

"If you take a break, we're leaving you behind!"

"You wouldn't fucking dare!"

"Try it and see" Letting out a very pissed off wail, Hidan carried on trudging along behind them, muttering insults at them as he walked. He had never done so much exercise for himself in all his life, having had servants to do things for him. These bastards had no fucking respect for him, and it really pissed him off.

"Hurry up Hidan! You're going to get left behind!"

"Fuck you! You're walking too fucking fast!"

He'd only been awake for half an hour and he'd already decided. He hated this place and all the stupid people in it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

Shikamaru was absolutely exhausted. A walk from Naruto's house that would normally take about 20 minutes, had taken almost an hour. It was understandable that Hidan was going to be confused, having been asleep for a few hundred years, but it was nearly 2 in the morning and it was getting really troublesome. It had taken him nearly ten minutes to persuade him that the street light was not going to suck out his soul and that he was safe to walk under it. And as for the cars... well he'd had to hold the other man back to stop him from attacking it with his scythe.

"But it's a fucking monster! I need to fucking kill it!"

"It's not a monster it's a car! Like a carriage that moves by itself"

"So it's fucking witchcraft?"

"Ugh, so troublesome. No it isn't, its science"

"What the fuck is that?"

"You know what? Never mind I'll explain later, just move"

Hidan was also moving extremely slowly, clenching his scythe in his hand and scowling as if expecting to be attacked by someone. Shikamaru really hoped there were no police around because this would be very hard to explain. By the time they finally got to his street, they'd already had to hide behind several bushes to avoid being spotted by any passersby. He was really not in the mood to talk to any of his neighbours about this.

"Right, this is my house"

"That's it? It's fucking tiny!"

Shikamaru just ignored the fool, and unlocked the front door. No lights were on which meant his mum had decided to stay the night at his grandmothers, as he hadn't said whether he'd be going home. As for his dad well... he was almost always off working on something. Flicking on the light switch he gestured for the other to come in. Hidan backed away.

"How the hell did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Light up the fucking house like that!"

"It's electricity. All you do is flick a switch"

"What the fuck is electricity?"

"Do you have to swear so much?"

"Fuck you!"

"Troublesome... Electricity is like... lightening I guess. Except you can use it to power things"

"I don't get it"

"I didn't expect you to, now come in I'm tired, and it'll be easier to explain you to my mum when I've had some sleep"

Hidan reluctantly followed him into the house, not without muttering a small prayer to his god though. It wasn't a very big house. If anything it was smaller than average, but as there was only 3 of them it was good enough. The garden was pretty big anyway, and that's how he liked it.

"Now as we don't have a spare room you'll have to sleep on the sofa, over there" Hidan took one look at the battered old chair, and scowled.

"I'm not fucking sleeping there"

"Well there's nowhere else"

"Where are you fucking sleeping?"

"My room. And can't you stop swearing?"

"Let me sleep on your fucking bed then!"

"Why should I?"

"Because you're only a fucking peasant and it's your job to fucking serve me"

"For god's sake, fine" _Anything to get some sleep._ "Follow me"

Shikamaru's room was the first one you came to at the top of the stairs. It was just the right size, with a desk, a bookcase, and a bed. He was a pretty simple person, so he only needed the bare essentials.

"That's it?" Hidan apparently was not impressed.

"It's either this or the sofa. Now go to sleep" Shutting the door on the annoying one, he grabbed a blanket from the airing cupboard, and threw himself onto the sofa not bothering to get changed.

_Too tired to think... Just go to sleep and maybe it'll all be a dream when you wake up._

-Page Break-

Hidan awoke with a jolt. He was lying in the stupid peasants bed (He couldn't be bothered with his name), and he really needed to piss.

"Fuck!" Hissing to himself, he pulled himself up and went about looking for the chamber pot. It wasn't under the bed like they usually were, but maybe people kept them in a different place nowadays. He had been asleep a long time.

There were lots of things that it could be, but they were all filled with weird objects. Getting desperate now, he felt around in the dark feeling like a moron. Hidan didn't understand how to use the light thing that the peasant had used so he was reduced to feeling about.

Finally he found a small container on the floor. It had some strange brown stuff at the bottom, but he didn't care he was desperate.

"Here's the fucker!" And he sighed as he relieved himself in the small blue container.

-Page Break-

"Hey fucker!"

_...What is that?_

"I'm talking to you shithead!"

_Ugh so troublesome._

"Wake the fuck up!" Shikamaru was forced into consciousness as a heavy object was bought down on his head. Squinting, he looked up at the scowling magenta eyes above him.

_... It appears it wasn't a dream... Troublesome_

Sighing he pulled himself up.

"What is it Hidan?"

"I want something to fucking eat"

"Kitchens there" Replied Shikamaru gesturing lazily towards the door. The outraged shriek suggested he wasn't going to get a break.

"It's supposed to be your fucking job! I already had to find the fucking chamber pot by myself! You're fucking useless!"

_Chamber pot?_

"Err... What do you mean chamber pot?"

"You know, the thing you piss in"

"Oh... What did you use?"

"What do you fucking think? The pot on the floor"

_Oh. Shit._

Jumping up off the sofa, Shikamaru ran up the stairs faster than he'd ever moved in his life. He threw the door open and surveyed his room. Everything looked the same, except... The little blue flowerpot his grandmother had given him. He had planted a seed in it, and left it on the floor in the corner, where there was always a patch of sunlight. Looking at it now, he doubted the plant would be doing very much growing.

_So troublesome..._

-Page Break-

After showing Hidan the toilet, and promising severe pain if he tried to use anything else as a chamber pot, Shikamaru had cleaned out the pot. Leaving it to soak in strong cleaning liquid, he went down to the kitchen to get breakfast knowing there'd be hell to pay if it wasn't ready soon.

He'd managed to keep the other temporarily entertained by giving him a book full of paintings he'd never bothered with. Hopefully he could finish before the other got bored.

Just as he started frying the bacon, the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Shikamaru you _are_ home!"

"Morning mum"

"I thought you were staying at Naruto's?"

"I was... listen mum don't freak out"

"Why? What have you done?" Yoshino's voice had gone from being fairly calm, to suspicious.

"There's this guy who's friends with Naruto, but he has no where to stay while he's visiting, and he has a few... mental problems. I let him stay here last night, but do you think he could stay a little longer?"

"Is this guy dangerous?"

"No, no he's perfectly safe..." _Except for when he tries to fight off vicious wild cars_.

"I see... so you've finally found a special someone~"

"What? No I haven't!"

"Its fine honey, don't worry. You don't need to make up some story, if you love him he can stay with us. I always had a suspicion that you played for the other team~"

Wonderful. His mother now thought he was gay, and had suspected it for years. That really does wonders for your self-esteem.

"Look mum I'm not-"

"Anyways, I was just ringing to let you know I'll be staying at grandmas for a couple of days. She's hurt her hip again. But now I know you have company I don't have to worry so much~"

"That's fine, but mo-"

"Bye darling, I'll see you soon~" And she hung up.

"Troublesome mother" He muttered "I thought they got suspicious about things like this"

"Oi fucker! Where's the food?"

_This is so irritating..._

_**I just couldn't resist the chamber pot thing, it was too funny XD Yoshino is a bit OOC, but I prefer her this way :3 **_

_**Hope you enjoyed reading**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me**_

Shikamaru tried his hardest not to face palm at the sight in front of him. Hidan, instead of bothering with the knife and fork had just shoved the food in his mouth, dripping grease and bits of food all over the chair... And he just knew he'd be the one cleaning it up, or risk the wrath of his mother.

This guy may have been a prince, but he wasn't anything like the usual fairy tale. He was rude, bad tempered, and disgusting. Shikamaru was really not surprised no one had bothered to find him, as sad as that fact was. His attention was pulled away from Hidan when his phone buzzed. It was a text from Kiba.

'_Oi Shika! Meet at Naru's in 30? Bring weird guy w/ you?' _

'_Fine, but might take longer than usual w/ troublesome idiot'_

After sending his reply, he looked at the aforementioned idiot. It appeared he had slept in the same clothes they'd found him in. There was no way he could go out in them again. For a start not many people walked round in a long black cloak, and his trousers looked liked they'd seen better days.

"You can't keep on wearing those clothes" Hidan gave him a very sarcastic look.

"Well of course I fucking can't. You just haven't given me any yet"

"Hn" Jesus, he was turning into Sasuke. "Well you'll have to borrow some for now, and I guess I'll buy you some new ones later"

However none of Shikamaru's clothes fit, as Hidan was taller, and it looked pretty obvious when he tried on the trousers. Cursing under his breath, Shikamaru went into his parent's room and picked out a plain white shirt, and jeans he knew his father barely wore. Hidan was not impressed.

"These are fucking boring clothes. And they feel weird!"

"Stop being so awkward, they'll do for now"

Walking to Naruto's house was equally as troublesome. It had taken him ages to persuade him that he didn't need to bring his scythe (Shikamaru didn't want to get arrested), and of course there were even more people around to stare at them. The increased amount of cars didn't help either.

"You're fucking sure they're not monsters?"

"Yes I'm sure, you fool" Hidan obviously wasn't sure, as he was walking so closely behind him he was practically stepping on the back of his feet. Several people quietly laughed as they walked past, and Shikamaru could hear a few girls giggling about how cute they were...

_So now everyone is going to think I'm gay... Troublesome..._

Naruto had been cleaning all morning, so the house looked spotless from the outside. His grandparents were visiting friends that weekend, so for the moment they were safe.

"So it did happen then" Were Kiba's first words as he opened the door.

"Sadly"

"Ah, it's one of the stupid assholes from last night"

"Hey! Who are you calling an asshole?"

"Just ignore the idiot, he can whine for hours"

"Why the fuck do we have to be here?"

"Because I want to see my friends, so shut up" It was really hard for him not to punch the other. And Shikamaru had always been too lazy to even feel irritated. That really said something about Hidan. Giving up, he left Hidan and Kiba to irritate each other and went to find some sane people.

"Mornin' Shika" Choji was the first to notice him come in.

"Hey guys" He yawned "Is there anyone else who wants a pet moron?"

"Is he that bad?"

"The worst. He complains about everything, and considers anything electrical witchcraft"

"Where is this weirdo?" Sasuke had not had the misfortune of meeting him yet.

"Out in the hallway pissing off Kiba, by the sound of things" Added in Shino.

"Sasuke could you take him?"

"My dad would never allow it. Why, are your parents not ok with it?"

"My mum was ecstatic that I'd finally come out after years of repressing myself sexually" There was silence, before the room erupted into laughter. "It's not funny, it's troublesome"

"It's brilliant!" Naruto was crumpled up laughing at him.

"Besides that means he can definitely stay with you now" Shino was the only one who seemed unbothered. Cleaning seemed more important to him at the moment.

"Oi Shikamaru!" Kiba yelled from the hallway "Come tell this asshole to shut up, before I punch his face in!"

"I'd like to see you fucking try, you dick!"

"So troublesome" Shikamaru sighed, and went out to deal with the morons.

-Page Break-

It had taken 4 hours but the house was finally clean. There had been sick in every room, and empty drink bottles everywhere. Some moron had even head-butted the wall and left a dent in it. It took a lot of rearranging to cover that.

"Are you fuckers finished yet? I'm boorreedd" Hidan had been whining ever since they'd started. Shikamaru tried to get him to help, but that had been met with cries of outrage and disgust.

"We'd have been finished faster if you'd gotten off your lazy ass and helped" Kiba was close to killing the ass, and after a while, no one was in the mood to try and stop him.

"Shikamaru, please take him home before Kiba kills him, because I do not want to have to explain the blood stains to Tsunade"

"Yeah, sorry. I'll remove the idiot"

"What the fuck did you just call me?"

"Just move, we're going home" Shikamaru wandered lazily out the room with Hidan following and muttering something about stupid heathens. "See ya guys, and next time I'll leave the fool at home"

"Please do"

-Page Break-

"Your friends are assholes"

"You started it"

"They pissed me off!"

Shikamaru just ignored the troublesome one and carried on reading. He'd wanted to go into the garden and watch the clouds go by, but he knew the idiot would complain. At least he looked slightly busy if he was reading, though the book was pretty boring.

Feeling a sudden prickling sensation, he looked up to see scowling magenta eyes. He jumped.

"Don't get so close!"

"But I'm so fucking booorreedd" Hidan whined, his voice even more irritating than usual.

"Fine we'll watch the television"

"What the fucks that?"

"It's a box that shows moving pictures of people"

"Moving? That sounds like fucking witchcraft"

"It isn't, now sit down and stop being so troublesome" The older man huffed, but sat quietly. Until the television clicked on...

"WHAT THE FUCK? WHY ARE THERE FUCKING PEOPLE IN THE BOX?" It took all of Shikamaru's strength to hold him back as he tried to bring his scythe down onto the television.

"Stop it you fool! Just drop the weapon and calm down!" Reaching over to the remote, he turned off the TV and pushed the fool on to the sofa.

_Perhaps the TV isn't such a good idea._

Hidan sat on the sofa, tensed up and panting. It occurred to Shikamaru that he really should've thought about it more, as it was likely the man would be with him a while and he ought to make more of an effort.

"I'm sorry about that... I... probably should've thought that through" Although he scowled at him, It was obvious that Hidan was pretty shaken up. The young genius decided he'd need to comfort him, although it would be incredibly awkward for both of them. Sitting down next to the fool, he slowly extended his arm and began making small circles on Hidan's back. At first he tensed but soon relaxed and even leant towards Shikamaru slightly; so close they were almost touching.

Hidan let out a relieved sigh, and leant up against him. Shikamaru felt awkward then. Having another man lean up against him in the same way a girlfriend would was making him uncomfortable. But if it made the troublesome fool quiet then it would have to do. After a while, Hidan's breathing slowed and he completely relaxed; showing that he had fallen asleep.

Shikamaru eased him onto the sofa where he curled up, looking quite contented. It was strange, but he looked quite innocent when he was sleeping. Probably because of the lack of scowl, or smirking. Shikamaru turned the lights out and went to his room, glad to be sleeping in his own bed for the night.

_**The head butting a wall was based on a true story :L My little brother had a house party and... ¬_¬ Hope you liked, and please review :3**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Little bit of a HidaShika moment here :3 Enjoy**_

_**Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine.**_

It was heavenly, truly heavenly. Shikamaru was so comfortable he decided he was never going to move again. Lying in bed for the rest of the day seemed like a pretty good idea. The bliss he felt was only slightly ruined by a slightly irritating sensation on his forehead. It felt barely noticeable at first, but soon it was so much that it was almost painful. Slowly forcing his eyes open, he looked up to see Hidan staring at him his finger poised and ready to poke him in the forehead once again.

"Are you awake yet fucker?"

"Thanks to you" He felt pretty groggy, and irritated that he'd lost out on sleep. Looking over at the clock he saw it was only half seven. "What is wrong with you? It's too early you troublesome fool"

"I was fucking bored, and you slept in the bed and left me on the fucking chair!"

Sighing, he pulled himself out of the bed and stretched. His mother would be coming back today, so he'd need to make sure Hidan wouldn't freak out about the television again. Or any other appliance for that matter.

"Are you going to fucking help me get dressed?" Shikamaru was not so impressed.

"You did it yourself yesterday. You're a grown man anyway you can do it yourself"

"But you're the fucking servant! You're supposed to do it" Hidan's voice went into a whine at this, and the sound grated on his nerves so much Shikamaru just lost it.

"Fine! Just stop that troublesome whining!" Hidan simply scowled and stood waiting. When Shikamaru realised what he'd just agreed to, he paled slightly. Last night was awkward enough, but helping another man strip was just weird.

"Can you at least take your own clothes off?"

"Eh? You fucking suck at this" But he seemed to be in a decent mood, as he decided to-albeit reluctantly- slide his clothes off himself. Shikamaru turned away and started picking out some clothes for him. They'd need to get him some of his own, because his mother would definitely notice that he was always wearing his father's clothes. "Ok, now can you fucking help me?"

"Fine, but you really should do this yourse-" Shikamaru stopped midway as he turned to see a completely naked Hidan standing in front of him. "What are you doing you troublesome fool?"

"You told me to fucking strip so I did" Was the reply. He looked pretty unbothered about the fact that he was baring all.

"Can you put your boxers on? I don't want to be at eye level with... that!"

"Eh? But you fucking said you'd do it!"

"I'm not doing that!" Hidan growled, stalked over and pulled on his boxers.

"There, happy?" Shikamaru wasn't, but he'd said he would and the moron wouldn't stop whining otherwise. He grabbed a pair of trousers and bent down next to the fool. Guiding each foot into each leg, and pulling them up, he felt like he was dressing a toddler.

"How old are you anyway?"

"19" That was an unusually short answer.

"And you still need someone to dress you?"

"Fuck you, my servants usually do that shit, but since all those fuckers are dead, you'll do"

"So I'm your servant now?"

"Of course you are; you're a fucking peasant"

_Well that was nice._ Feeling more irritated, Shikamaru pulled Hidan's shirt over his head.

"There finished. Now go downstairs, so I can get dressed"

"N-no, I'll just fucking wait for you!" He sounded unusually jumpy.

"Something wrong?"

"No, there's nothing fucking wrong!" There was a moment of silence. "... That fucking box can't move right?"

"... That's why you woke me up? Because you were scared of the TV?"

"No I wasn't!" Hidan squeaked, looking both furious and embarrassed. Shikamaru smirked to himself, enjoying the moment of weakness, before turning to get dressed. It was pretty hard to undress with Hidan's eyes on him.

"Can you please stop staring at me?"

"Tch, it's not my fault you're so fucking weird looking"

_Like you can talk..._ He ignored the sarcastic comments and quickly dressed, and left the room with Hidan following closely behind. It was hard not to chuckle slightly, as he saw Hidan's wary glances towards the TV, although in a way it was a little pitiful.

"Right, you can't attack any cars, or do anything too weird today, because we're going shopping"

"That's fucking servants work!"

"Well if you really want I can leave you at home, on your own with the TV..."

"I would love to fucking come! That would be so fucking interesting!" Shikamaru smirked, enjoying having some kind of leverage.

-Page Break-

"I'm not wearing that shit! It's fucking weird!" Hidan hissed throwing the yellow T-shirt to the floor. Shikamaru rubbed his temples in frustration. They'd been in the shop for about half an hour and Hidan had refused nearly every piece of clothing shown to him. It was really getting annoying, especially as they needed to be home soon before his mother returned.

"Just hurry up and pick something, we need to go home" _This is too stressful... Like having a child._

"Fine!" Hidan stormed over to a rail grabbed a load of clothes and dumped them in the basket. "Done~" He looked pretty proud of himself.

"What if they don't fit?"

"I don't give a fuck! Those ugly bitches keep staring and it's pissing me off!" By ugly bitches, he was referring to the two sales girls behind the counter who kept staring at him, and giggling.

"Ok, I'll sort it, just stay there" Grumbling, he went to pay, the two counter girls still giggling as he did.

"You guys are such a cute couple" Said the brunette smiling widely.

"We're not a couple! He's-"

"Ohhh I see, you haven't told him yet! It's ok, you can do it!" Pretty sure he was now bright red; Shikamaru handed over the money, grabbed the bags and ran.

"Oi OI! Don't leave me behind!" Hidan dashed after him, much to the amusement of the counter girls.

_Well that's one shop I can never visit again..._

-Page Break-

As they came in through the front door, the phone began to ring. Ignoring Hidan's worried looks, Shikamaru dashed to get it.

"Hello?"

"Hey Honey it's just me"

"Oh hi mum, when are you coming home?" There was a slight hesitation on the other end of the phone.

"I just thought I should let you know I'm staying another night"

"What? Why?"

"I'm a little tired, so I wanted to get some sleep before I came home... Besides I thought you could do with some more alone time with your little friend~"

"For god's sake mother! I told you it's not-"

"Oh! Sorry I have to go, the dinners burning! Byee~" His mother had put the phone down. Well that was great. Another night alone with the troublesome one. Shikamaru looked over at the aforementioned fool who was cautiously nudging the TV with his scythe. He massaged his temples and groaned.

_Why does everything have to be so troublesome?_


	7. Chapter 7

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine**_

Hidan sat, rigid on the chair staring at the strange box. It had been suspiciously quiet since the first time, and may have been biding its time. He'd been terrified when waking up, he'd found himself alone with the thing that morning; it was lucky his soul hadn't been sucked out. Cautiously he went towards it trying to look into its depths. If there were people in there he should be able to see them, maybe even hear them.

"Hidan don't even think about it!" Jumping about a metre in the air, Hidan turned to see the one he now knew as Shikamaru scowling at him. "It's just a TV; there are no people in it, so leave it alone"

Giving the TV one more hateful stare, he sat down on the chair and watched the annoying peasant. The man was a useless servant. Hidan had to dress himself, help with shopping, and worst of all, was ignored all the time.

People had always hated him. Most people thought he was selfish, and stupid. But at least when his kingdom was around people showed him some respect! They were all terrified of his immortality so left him alone. A smile formed on his lips as he realised that was the answer. Of course the morons didn't know he was immortal! Well he'd show them. He stood and walked into the kitchen.

-Page Break-

Watching as Hidan left the room, the genius felt a little worried. The man never offered to do anything, and he was looking pretty smug too. This was worrying. There was the sound of draws opening and closing, then the man re-entered holding a large pointed knife.

_?_

"What are you doing? Put the knife down!" Hidan laughed a strange, maniacal laugh that caused the hair on Shikamaru's neck to go on end. Lifting his shirt, he pulled back the knife and plunged it into his own stomach. Shikamaru tried to stop him, but the blood was already pouring on the floor. For a moment there was silence, and then Hidan resumed his laughter.

"What the...? How did you do that...?" The other's grin widened.

"I'm fucking immortal you stupid dick!" It was then Shikamaru recalled a line from the story.

'_He was born blessed with the gift of immortality'... Oh._

"I see..." It was hard to know how to react to this so he did the first thing that came to mind. "You better clean up the blood you troublesome fool" Hidan looked outraged at this.

"I'm fucking immortal! Aren't you scared?"

"I'm more scared of my mother's reaction to the floor" Giving a long suffering sigh he walked out into the kitchen. "As you're useless at this, I'll have to do it" As he started to scrub he noticed Hidan staring at him. "Something wrong?"

"... You... are a fucking asshole!" The sudden shriek went straight through his ears, causing him to grimace slightly.

"Why now?"

"You are a fucking useless servant, always treating me like shit, and you never pay any fucking attention to me!"

"... That's it?" Shikamaru could barely believe how childish the man was. Hidan obviously was completely serious, as he looked like a little boy pouting. It was hard not to laugh.

"It's not fucking funny!"

"I know, I'm sorry" Stifling another laugh, he knew it was something that was upsetting the troublesome one so he ought to be nicer. "I'll try to pay more attention to you ok?"

_It's like I'm talking to my girlfriend._

"Too fucking right you will. I hate being ignored all the fucking time. Now get me some food, I'm fucking starving!"

_I really should've thought that through._

-Page Break-

"Oiii Shiiikkkaaaaaa" Well that was the first time Hidan had even been aware he'd had a name.

"Yes Hidan?" This was annoying as he was trying to sleep on his sofa, after yet again being banished from his room.

"Can you do something for me~?" Hidan was obviously using his most persuasive voice, as well as the puppy dog eyes.

"What do you want?" It had been a tiring day, and all Shikamaru wanted to do was sleep.

"Can you... sleep in the same room as me? Pretty please?"

_...What?_

"Why the hell would I do that?"

"I just don't want to fucking be alone ok?"

"Oh I see... You're still afraid of the TV"

"No I'm not! Fuck you!"

"Well I'm not sleeping in the same bed you can forget it"

"I don't want you in my fucking bed, I'm not queer! Just sleep on the floor"

"I'd rather sleep here thanks. Now go back to bed and let me get my sleep" As he closed his eyes, he felt a sharp poke to his forehead for the second time that day.

"If you don't come up there, you're not getting any fucking sleep"

_For god's sake!_ Shikamaru stood up, grabbed his cover and pillow and stormed up the stairs, Hidan following closely behind. He lay on the floor of his room and looked over at the ass.

"There are you happy now?"

Hidan just gave him a scowl, before getting into bed. It felt weird sleeping on his own floor, but he was so tired he didn't care, and found himself falling asleep within seconds of his head hitting the pillow.

Although he was asleep Hidan was still wide awake. He was restless for the first time since waking up in this time and it was the first time he'd had time to properly think. Now thinking was something Hidan normally never did, but for the first time he was bothered by something. Although it had probably been a few hundred years, no one had bothered to look for him. No one had cared that he had gone, and not even people who'd been friendly to him had given him another thought.

One of the things he'd been famous for was for being a cold heartless asshole. But now he felt absolutely miserable. After checking that Shikamaru was definitely asleep, he curled up under the duvet and cried himself to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

"Shiiikaa! I'm hooome~" Shikamaru was woken up by the cheery tone of his mother as she came in through the door. Quickly looking over at the bed to check the fool was still asleep, he hurried down the stairs.

"Good morning, see you kept the house tidy" She stared at him a moment then peered around behind him. "So... where's your lover boy?"

"He's not my lover! He's just a very annoying friend with nowhere to go!" His face was probably red by now, just adding to his mothers suspicions. Wonderful.

"Ok whatever you say" she winked at him. "Do I get to meet him? And how long's he staying?"

"Yeah you can meet him; I'll get him in a sec..." _This will be difficult. _"And mum... he has nowhere to go, so I don't know how long he'll be here..." There was silence.

"I see..." _Here it comes. _"Well I suppose that's ok, though you really should get to know someone more before you decide to live together~"

"That's not it woman!" She just laughed at him.

"It's ok honey, I don't mind! If you love him he can stay here till you find a flat together"

Shikamaru slapped himself in the forehead trying to rid himself of the disturbing thoughts. His mother laughed at her strange son.

"So? Are you going to get him?" As she sounded so excited he knew it had to be done.

"Yes I'll get him, just wait a minute"

-Page Break-

Hidan was sprawled out on the bed dead to the world, much like he was when Shikamaru first found him. Sighing, Shikamaru leant down and shook him slightly.

"Hidan. Hidan! Hidan wake up!" The other man woke with a jolt and sat up, smacking his forehead into the others.

"Owww. What the fuck? You asshole I was sleeping!" Rubbing his head, he scowled up at the other almost pouting.

"Listen you idiot" Hidan glared but said nothing. "My mother is home, and she's said you can stay. However she also wants to meet you"

"And?"

"And there are a few things I need to tell you beforehand. The main thing being she can't know how I found you"

"Why the fuck not?"

"Because it sounds insane! She won't believe it. Even I'm not sure I believe it and I was there. Just don't mention it ok?" Hidan huffed but nodded showing he understood. "Good. No attacking the TV or any other appliances either!"

"But they're trying to suck out my fucking soul!"

"No they aren't, it's safe you fool! Just restrain yourself in front of my mum. Also no stabbing yourself like yesterday, and cut down on the swearing"

"Is there anything I can fucking do?"

"Be quiet, polite, and don't make any of your comments"

"What comments?"

"You know what I mean... Now get dressed we're going downstairs" Hidan stood and stretched then stared at Shikamaru expectantly. "No, get dressed yourself"

"If you don't fucking do it, I'll tell your mother~" Hidan announced with a smug grin. Shikamaru groaned, but helped the idiot anyway before dragging him down the stairs.

He gave Hidan one more warning look before pulling him into the kitchen to see his mother. Yoshino turned, took one look at Hidan and squealed. Both boys grimaced as she ran over and started fussing over them.

"It's so nice to meet you! Aww you're so cute, I can see why you and my Shika are in love, what's your name?"

"We're not fu-"

"It's Hidan" Shikamaru quickly interrupted before the swearing came out.

"That's a lovely name! Hidan Nara has a nice ring to it" They both looked absolutely mortified and even Hidan was speechless. "Now you two go relax in the lounge, and I'll make you a full English breakfast"

"At least she knows how to fucking serve someone" Hidan muttered at him, as they left the room.

"Just shut up" Shikamaru was horrified that his mother had decided he was marrying. He hoped she wouldn't tell any of the neighbours, or else he'd have to change his name and move to a different country.

They sat awkwardly, as far away from each other as they could possibly get on that sofa. It was quiet. Too quiet.

"Aren't you going to put the telly on boys?"

"Er, yes we are, just a second" Shikamaru looked over at Hidan who looked ready to battle. "It's not going to hurt you ok? Just stay calm" He whispered before flicking on the box. It was one of those relatively harmless cooking shows, yet the other still looked worried. Hidan stared for a while before shuffling closer to Shikamaru. It felt pretty awkward and he wanted to move, but at the same time he felt sorry for him and wanted to help him out.

Soon enough Hidan was so close their arms were touching. His eyes never left the demonic box, as he tried to get as much distance as possible without rushing to the safety of the bedroom. After a particularly loud noise, Hidan gripped Shikamaru's arm and buried his head into his shoulder. That was even more awkward, especially as his mother decided to come in at that moment.

"Awww you guys are so cute! I'll leave you to it" And after dropping their plates on the table with a flourish she walked off humming to herself. After she'd left Shikamaru turned off the TV and eased his arm out of the iron grip.

"Ok it's off now, eat your food" When the fool saw the large pile of food on the plate he practically jumped on it, fears forgotten.

_Idiot_ thought Shikamaru slightly annoyed. _At least he's quiet when he's eating._

"Oi, fucker" Ok maybe he wasn't quiet.

"What Hidan?"

"I like your mother, she makes fucking awesome food"

"Err thanks?" Hidan shrugged and resumed eating making contented moans as he did so. He was slightly obsessed with food it appeared, especially meat. The way he ripped at the bacon was similar to a lion on a zebra.

"You could use a fork you know" Hidan stared at him, sauce dripping down his chin.

"A what?"

"This" He held one up. "You pick up food with it, rather than using your hand and making a mess" Shikamaru decided to demonstrate, scooping food into his mouth with it before passing it to the other. Hidan looked at it, examining it at every angle, before stabbing a huge piece of bacon with it and trying to shove the whole thing into his mouth.

"Don't do that you fool you'll choke!"

"Well what the fuck do I do then?" Shikamaru groaned and leant next to him.

"You cut it up like this" He said, picking up a knife and cutting up the meat, Hidan watching with interest, as he did whenever food was involved. They were interrupted by a flash and a click. Standing by the door was his mother, a camera to her face.

"So cute~ I'm so glad I have the camera" She squealed before dashing out the room to escape Shikamaru's disgusted outcry.

"What the fuck was that?" Hidan was staring at where the camera once was. "It hurt my fucking eyes" As his voice rose to a whining pitch, Shikamaru sighed.

_Why me?_


	9. Chapter 9

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

It had been a long day. Not only had Yoshino fussed over them all day, she'd asked a lot of questions, that involved quick thinking from Shikamaru to get out of some awkward situations.

"So Hidan, where are you from?"

"The la-" Hidan started, but he was quickly interrupted.

"He used to live a few miles away from here" It was the only thing Shikamaru could think to say. In a way it was true.

"I see... and what about your parents?"

"They died a while ago" Hidan replied. He'd obviously caught on.

"Oh honey I am so sorry!"

"I was pretty young, don't remember it much"

"If you don't mind me asking, how'd it happen?"

"Car crash! It was a car crash!" Shikamaru jumped in quickly. Hidan looked a little bemused, but when the other gave him a warning look he quickly nodded.

"That's terrible! And there's no one else?"

"No, they're all gone"

"Well you can stay here as long as you like. After all you're going to be joining our family someday~"

After the stupidly awkward conversation, no more was said. Now Shikamaru was exhausted and wanted more than to just relax and have a good night's sleep. His mother apparently had other ideas.

"Now you don't have to worry about sleeping separately for my sake boys, so I've sorted your bed~"

_Bed? As in singular? _Shikamaru did not like the sound of that. Hidan looked equally as worried. It appeared Yoshino was one of the few people who could actually silence him which in a way was pretty impressive.

They found out what she meant when walking into the room. She'd taken the mattress off the bed and laid it out on the floor next to it, essentially making a double bed. Neither of them knew quite what to say about that.

"...I'll wait till she's asleep then sneak down to the sofa"

"You fucking better"

-Page Break-

When Shikamaru woke the next morning, something felt different. The bed felt lower, but that wasn't the main difference. Opening his eyes, he realised something was pushing up against him. He turned round to see Hidan sprawled out next to him, his foot pushing him in the back. How he'd managed to sleep with his leg sticking at that angle he would never know. He wanted to get out of bed and avoid the awkwardness, but at the same time the bed was comfortable. Shikamaru, being a lazy person decided to take the easy option and stayed in bed.

Fifteen minutes later and that continuous prodding was getting on his nerves. The idiot also seemed to twitch quite a lot, each one causing his foot to kick Shikamaru's back even harder. Deciding he'd had enough, he leaned over to his desk and grabbed a roll of electrical tape. He pushed Hidan's leg over and taped both legs down. The moron slept through it all, so Shikamaru simply laid back down and finally got to relax.

For about half an hour anyway. Hidan was woken up when he realised something felt wrong, which was proved when he tried to move and found his legs pinned in place.

"What the fuck!" He screeched causing Shikamaru to jump up and fall off the bed.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Why are my fucking feet tied down?"

"Oh yes, that"

"You did it? You asshole, what the fuck were you trying to do?"

"You kept kicking me!"

"You said you were going, what the fuck happened to that?"

"I fell asleep idiot, now shut up you're giving me a migraine"

"Get the fucking rope off me first!"

"It's tape, and only if you shut up" Shikamaru reached over and began yanking the tape off, which caused Hidan to start yelling again. "What's wrong now?"

"It huuurrtttss" Hidan whined, sounding really pitiful.

"It probably will, but seeing as you stabbed yourself the other day I'm going to assume you can deal with it"

After pulling off most of Hidan's lower leg hair, Shikamaru tried to go back to sleep. Wishful thinking.

"Don't just go back to sleep you asshole! You woke me up!"

Shikamaru just huffed, pulled the covers off the bed stormed down the stairs, and fell on the sofa trying to get more sleep. He would've been able to, had his head not hit a large box at the end of the sofa. Rubbing his head he saw a note on the top from his mother.

_Shikamaru- Just gone down the shops for some supplies, could you take this over to the neighbours? Borrowed some of their stuff a while ago and they need it back. Thank you! Love Mum xx_

It was troublesome to have to go out this early, but he was too tired to care so he just grabbed a coat and went.

-Page Break-

When Hidan heard the door slam, he jumped up out of bed and grabbed his scythe getting into battle position. After a few moments he realised nothing was coming into the room and looked out into the hallway. Nothing. Gripping the scythe tightly he walked cautiously down the stairs.

"Oi, fuckface!" He shouted. There was no reply.

"Fucker!" Even more silence.

"Sh-Shikamaru?" He was starting to feel even more anxious now. Where had he gone? Hidan ran through all the rooms, but he was completely alone. He stood in the lounge and gripped his scythe, looking around. After checking for enemies, he sat feeling a little lonely. Even the nagging was preferable.

A buzzing noise from the corner caught his attention, and he saw a small fly hovering there. With a sly grin, he crept up on it raising his scythe as he did. If the peasant wasn't around he could do what he wanted. He swung the scythe round and slammed it into the wall just missing the insect.

"You fucker! Don't you run from me!" He shrieked, laughing as he did. Running round the room, he knocked over furniture and broke things as he went not caring. There were several dents in the wall from his near misses, and after a few minutes he finally succeeded in stabbing the insolent bug.

"Haha, that's what you get for pissing me off!" Those were the first words Shikamaru heard when he returned from the neighbours after being stuck chatting for a good quarter of an hour. He ran into the lounge to see Hidan wiping a black smudge off of his scythe onto the sofa, with the rest of the room in tatters.

"What the hell have you done?" More importantly what would his mother say?

"Where the fuck were you? I was really fucking bored asshole!"

"I went to see the neighbours; I was only gone 15 minutes! What is wrong with you?"

"The fucking fly pissed me off, it deserved it!"

"All this over a fly? You idiot! We need to start cleaning this up before mum gets home you troublesome moron!"

As Shikamaru ran around getting cleaning supplies, and nagging him, Hidan couldn't help but feel satisfied. As much of an asshole the other man was, it was better than being alone.


	10. Chapter 10

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Went to the zoo recently, which explains this chapter :L**_

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

"What the fuck is that?" Hidan screeched, earning tuts and angry looks from nearby mothers with young children. "It looks fucking huge!"

"It's an elephant, now stop being so loud when you swear it's troublesome" Shikamaru felt really awkward, especially with Hidan in a large group of people.

"Mummy?" He looked over at a small girl with big brown eyes who was pulling at her mother's shirt.

"Yes sweetheart?"

"What's a fuck?" Shikamaru spluttered and grabbed Hidan, dragging him away from the crowd and the furious glares.

It was definitely a mistake to take Hidan to a place like a zoo especially in the summer months when the place was filled with tourists. It was also filled with children that Hidan, with his swear happy habit was unlikely to get on with.

"Why the fuck did you do that?" Shikamaru scowled at the troublesome moron.

"Because those women looked like they were going to lynch us. Can't you cut down on the swearing in public?"

"Why the fuck should I?"

"It's just not right to swear in front of kids ok?"

"They have to learn sometime" He was clearly unbothered by the looks they received for that comment by a passing couple with a baby.

"Fine, just fine. We'll avoid the crowds then" Although that was easier said than done.

Everywhere they went was packed. And Hidan really wasn't helping the situation. He complained loudly about everyone and everything.

"It fucking stinks in here!"

"It's the ape house, of course it's going to smell"

"Why can't they just piss outside?"

"They're animals, they can't really help it"

And then there was:

"You can't swing the bridge that much with small children on it!"

"It was fucking made for it though!"

"I'm pretty sure that little girl didn't think so"

"It's her own fucking fault"

"You don't tell a 6 year old that if the bridge breaks, she wouldn't die, she'd be more likely to suffer from unbearable agony, or be paralysed!"

But the best had to be the bird show:

"Get the fucking bird away from my head!"

"Ignore it and it'll go away moron!"

"It needs to fucking die!"

"Sir, please calm down, I'll get the bird off"

"Fuck that!"

It was likely they were on the banned for life list after today. They'd had to run, after Hidan had grabbed the bird and threw it at a group of toddlers. Shikamaru had grabbed the fool and ran before anyone could say anything.

"You troublesome moron! What is wrong with you? It was a great day out and you ruined it!"

"It wasn't my fucking fault, they were all being assholes!"

They argued until they got home and Hidan stormed up the stairs. Shikamaru grabbed the phone and called the only person he could rant to.

"Hello?"

"Choji! Thank god you're home!"

"Shika? Are you ok?"

"That moron caused hell at the zoo today!"

"I'm so sorry; I thought it was a good idea"

"It's not your fault he's insane. I just don't know how to deal with him"

"How do you mean?"

"He's always causing trouble, but if I kick him out, he'll be homeless"

"We could always ask someone else? There's bound to be someone who has a spare room or something similar"

"That's not a bad idea actually" Shikamaru quite liked the idea. It's not like Hidan liked him very much anyway.

"I'll ring round and ask for you"

After hanging up the phone, Shikamaru went upstairs. Hidan was sitting on the bed, and scowled at him when he walked in the door.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"Just thought you should know, that since you hate living here so much, I've asked my friend to find you somewhere else" Hidan was silent so Shikamaru continued. "I can tell you'd prefer that so-"

"Don't"

_?_

"What was that?" Hidan was looking away from him.

"I don't want to"

"You don't want to what?"

"Leave. I want to stay here"

"But you're always in a bad mood! And you don't like being around me that much-"

"Yes I fucking do! I don't know anyone else; you're the only fucking person I know! And everyone else is an asshole; you're fun to fight with!"

"Wait, you think that's fun?"

"No one ever used to fucking fight with me, they were all fucking scared of me"

"Oh. Yeah I can imagine why. So you don't want to leave?"

"No I don't! So please let me fucking stay!" He looked so miserable at the thought of leaving Shikamaru just sighed.

"Fine, you can stay. Just stop going so over the top with your temper"

"I can't fucking help it, I've always been that way!"

"Fine" Shikamaru rubbed his temples, knowing that he'd regret this later. "I'll go phone Choji and tell him you're staying here"

-Page Break-

The rest of the night felt pretty awkward. Neither of them wanted to talk about earlier, so they stayed silent with the TV on in the background. It didn't feel right having Hidan so silent so Shikamaru thought he'd try saying something.

"Hidan?"

"Yes fuckface?" Shikamaru scowled at him, but at the same time it was nice to have something stay the same.

"Are you... ok?"

"Eh? What do you mean?"

"I mean, you seemed pretty upset earlier"

"I wasn't upset! I was just pissed off!"

"Oh. That makes sense"

"Besides, I didn't want to go live with any of those other assholes. Especially the dog fucker"

"By dog fucker I'm assuming you mean Kiba. And glad to know you don't despise me I guess..."

"Well you do what I fucking want"

_So it's because I'm too lazy to tell him where to stick it..._

"You do bitch too fucking much though"

"That's because you're always doing stupid things"

"No, I fucking don't!"

"You threw a parrot, stabbed yourself, and tried to scythe the TV. You're always doing stupid things"

"The parrot thing was fucking hilarious though" Hidan was starting to laugh pretty hard.

"No it wasn't!" He would not give the idiot the satisfaction of knowing he was slightly amused. Sadly Hidan noticed.

"You found it funny you dick admit it! You loved the look on the little shits faces when that bird hit them. And when it shat on that bitches face!"

"N-no I-" He tried to hold it in, but he really couldn't help himself. Shikamaru started to laugh, barely able to stand. They both sat there laughing, until tears were rolling down their faces.

"I knew it! I knew you didn't have a massive stick up your ass"

"Just shut up!" Shikamaru was trying to breathe. He hadn't laughed that hard in a while. When he looked back over Hidan was smirking at him. "What's wrong with you?"

"You like having me around" He seemed pretty smug about this.

"I don't dislike you" It wasn't something he'd really thought about. He'd just been dealing with him, because he had to.

"You think I'm fucking funny, admit it!" His grin had widened.

"Ok, I'll admit you're pretty amusing" Hidan looked pleased with himself. "You're still a troublesome moron though"

"Fuck you asshole!"


	11. Chapter 11

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

"Where the fuck are we going now? We've been walking for aaages" Hidan was, as usual, whining.

"It's only been 10 minutes, stop complaining"

"But where are we going?"

"We're going to Kiba's place. You can meet some of my other friends too while we're here"

"I don't want to go near the dog fucker again, he's a dick!"

"He isn't that bad, you just like picking fights with people"

"Meh" Hidan went silent and just walked, making occasional huffing noises. As they came up to the house they could see Naruto and Choji sitting outside.

"Hey Shika! Hey crazy guy!" Naruto grinned and waved.

"Who the fuck are you calling crazy guy?"

_Oh god, Naruto's set him off._

"To be fair, you do act pretty insane"

"Naruto don't be harsh, leave the guy alone" Choji tried to keep the peace.

"No one's talking to you, you fa-" Hidan was stopped mid-sentence as Shikamaru slammed his hand over the idiots mouth.

"What was he saying?" Thankfully, Choji hadn't noticed though Naruto had and was fleeing to the safety of the house.

"Err, nothing. Why don't you go on ahead and we'll catch up" He looked confused, but walked off. Shikamaru breathed a sigh of relief and finally moved his hand.

"What the fuck did you do that for?" Hidan looked infuriated.

"You never use the F word in front of Choji! You remember the last time you said it?"

"You mean fuck?"

"No, the F A T word"

"Ohh, so he gets pissed if you point out that he's a fat ass"

"Yes, so don't you dare say it" Luckily he decided not to make any comments as they walked into the door. You could hear the high pitched squeals of Ino and Sakura, as they fought over Sasuke, and Kiba's raucous laughter.

"Hey what's that asshole doing here?" Kiba obviously remembered all the things Hidan called him.

"I can't just leave him at home"

"But he's a dick!"

"Shove it up your ass dog fucker!"

"Hidan, just knock it off! Sorry about that Kiba" Whilst Hidan and Kiba glared daggers at each other, the girls had suddenly noticed the new arrival.

"Hey Shika, who is that?" Sakura was looking towards Hidan with a predatory look.

"It's obviously that weird guy Choji told us about forehead"

"Screw you Ino-pig! So Shika, can you introduce us?"

"Introduce yourself, I need to sit down" He was glad that there were more people around so he could relax and let someone else deal with the fool.

"Glad to see you're surviving"

"Thanks Shino, he does drive me insane though"

"Somehow I'm not surprised"

"Oh yeah! Shika I was supposed to give you a message" Naruto bounced over like the strange ball of energy that he was.

"From who?"

"You remember Gaara's older sister? Temari?"

"I think so. Was that the one we met at the beach party?"

"Yeah that's the one! She was asking about you, says she wants to meet up"

"Really?"

"Yeah. She's really fine, nice job! Mind if I give her your number?"

"Err, sure why not?" She hadn't been bad looking, and Shikamaru hadn't been with any girls in a while. Temari hadn't been bad either.

"Hey fuckface! Keep the crazy bitches away from me!" Hidan yelled as he ran from the insane fan girls who were currently trying to get him to strip off so they could see his chest.

"You don't normally care if you strip"

"You've seen him naked?" Ino shrieked. "Oh my god, Shika I didn't know you were that way!"

"You guys make such a cute couple!"

"We're not a couple!"

"And I'm not fucking queer!" This didn't seem to bother the girls, who just giggled and started whispering to each other.

"Sooo, guess you won't need Temari's number then" Naruto said slyly.

"Just shut up you troublesome moron!" Most people laughed, except for Hidan who looked ready to explode.

The gay jokes went on for about an hour, resulting in Hidan punching Kiba in the face and having to be dragged off by Shikamaru and Naruto. That soon put a stop to it.

"You didn't need to punch him you know" Shikamaru had dragged him into the other room, before Kiba had time to reciprocate.

"Yes I did, he was being a dick. When are we leaving anyway? The pink thing and the blonde bitch are pissing me off"

"Never heard her called the pink thing before" He chuckled slightly. "And I like seeing my friends so stop complaining!"

Hidan made a tsk noise but said nothing. He didn't shout so much at everyone after that either which was a big relief. Although he wasn't too happy to be walking home with Sasuke and Naruto. It was mainly Sasuke he had a problem with. He seemed to find him irritating, and the feeling was obviously mutual.

"So Shika, I'll text her your number later" Said Naruto as he and Sasuke went to go up to his house.

"Oh yeah, that'd be great thanks"

"No problem"

"Who's 'her'?" Hidan asked after the other two had disappeared.

"This girl I met at a party. Apparently she likes me"

"... You like her?"

"I guess. I don't really care too much about girls"

"So you are a queer!" He smirked as he said this.

"No! That's not it! I'm just not really bothered" Shikamaru looked thoughtful for a minute. "I know I'll marry a nice girl, and have a few kids one day, and that's it really"

"You're really fucking boring"

"I don't really care; anything that's interesting is usually troublesome" Hidan was staring at him. "What about you?"

"Eh?"

"Did you have any girl?"

"Heh" He smirked at this. "I fucked lots of them"

"I mean did you love any, not how many you had sex with"

"Of course I didn't fucking love any. They were whiny stupid bitches!"

"You're an ass"

"You going to fuck this random girl?"

"I don't know! I barely know her"

"Don't have to know them to fuck them"

"...You disgust me"

-Page Break-

"Hey mum?"

"Yes honey?" Shikamaru was helping her cook whilst Hidan was lounging on the sofa, so he thought it was the best time to ask.

"Do you remember the fairy tale you used to tell me when I was a kid?"

"About the evil prince?"

"Yeah that's the one" Yoshino smiled.

"You haven't mentioned that one in a while. But yes I do; what about it?"

"How'd it go again?"

"You want me to tell you it now?"

"Well not say the whole thing, but maybe a quick overview"

"Ok... Err... Well, there once was an immortal prince of the Land of Hot Water, who was cruel and selfish. He executed people for minor crimes, and allowed people to go starving"

_That I can imagine._

"One day some travellers from a nearby kingdom came, and saw the evil prince. They warned him to change his ways, but he simply taunted them,"

_Sounds like Hidan._

"One of them, a powerful wizard, cursed the prince. He would stay sleeping until his true love came and woke him up, and after that..."

Shikamaru had stopped listening after that, because that last sentence had confused and worried him.

"Err mother" She stopped talking, and stared at him.

"Something wrong?"

"Well, how would that person know they were his true love?"

"That's a pretty odd question"

"Sorry, I was just thinking about it. Couldn't anyone wake him up?"

"Oh no that's not how these things work. His true love would have to kiss him to wake him up"

...

_Slipped... _

_Lips met... _

_Oh shit._


	12. Chapter 12

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

It was pretty hard to look at Hidan after that conversation. He'd only kissed him by accident. Technically it wasn't even a kiss, their lips just touched accidentally! Yet the according to the story the person who woke Hidan up by kissing him, was his true love.

..._Awkward..._

Shikamaru decided he would just try to forget about it, and never mention it to anybody else. Especially not Hidan... That would be so difficult.

As he was thinking of this, it gave him a surprise when he turned his end to see Hidan inches from his face.

"Gah!" He gave a very out of character shriek, and slammed his elbow into Hidan's face.

"Why the fuck did you just do that?"

"You shouldn't just come close to people's faces like that!"

"You were staring at the fucking wall, I thought you were broken!"

"Broken? How the hell could a person be broken?"

"Cause you weren't nagging me, I thought you'd fucking overheated or something"

"... You're an idiot"

"Fuck you"

At least they were getting on more, rather than Hidan just being whiny and demanding all the time.

"So are we going to do anything? Cause I am so fucking boorreedd" Ok, maybe that was speaking too soon.

"Watch the TV then"

"I don't fucking like it though"

"Right, follow me" Shikamaru led the other outside, to the back garden and lay back on the grass.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Cloud gazing"

"Ehhh?"

"Like star gazing, but at clouds instead"

"What's the fucking point in that?"

"You don't have to think. Plus clouds are lucky. They go where ever they want, have no responsibilities, and no worries" There was a slight longing in his voice as he said that.

"So you want to be a fucking cloud?"

"Sometimes"

"Fucking weirdo" Although he said that, Hidan lay on the ground and at least attempted to join in. He only lasted half an hour. "Can we do something else now?"

"You're bored already?"

"Most people would be, you dick!" Shikamaru just ignored him and continued to stare longingly at the sky. Clouds wouldn't have to deal with troublesome fairy tales either.

Or being sat on by morons.

"Why are you sitting on me? You're heavy get off!" Hidan had sat on his stomach, and as the other man was bigger and heavier, was making it hard for him to breathe.

"Find something else to fucking do, then I'll get off" He sounded pretty pleased with himself.

"Fine, just please get off!" Hidan obliged, and Shikamaru caught his breathe before scowling at the irritating smirking one.

He didn't look so amused when Shikamaru threw a ball of soil in his face.

"Don't throw shit at me you dick!"

"Don't sit on me then idiot!" He had to run away laughing, as Hidan attempted to retaliate. Luckily he managed to shut the door just as the ball of dirt hit. Chuckling and ignoring the outraged shrieks, he slumped back on the sofa, where he noticed his phone flashing.

'_Hey this is Temari, Naru gave me your number, hope you don't mind x'_

Shikamaru grinned and was just thinking of how to reply when Hidan grabbed his phone and started staring at it.

"What are you doing you fool? That's private!"

"This the one you're going to fuck?"

"No! Maybe? I don't know, but it's none of your business" He snatched the phone back and typed in a reply.

'_Hey, nice to hear from you, hopefully see you next party? x' _Hidan was mumbling something and he gave an irritated sigh.

"What is it?"

"I said 'It is my fucking business!'" For some reason he looked pissed off.

"What's wrong with you?"

"You're my fucking servant! If you get a fucking woman, you won't be around, and I'll have nothing to fucking do!"

"I'm not definitely getting with her you idiot, and that's a stupid reason. I'm not your servant for a start, and I'm sure you can entertain yourself"

"No! You're not allowed to have a fucking girlfriend!" Hidan was pouting and he looked and sounded like a kid.

"You're not... jealous are you?"

"That's not it! I don't care if you just fuck 'em, but if you have a relationship, you'll always be with them!"

"I wouldn't always be with them! Women are troublesome!"

"So you're queer?" Shikamaru stopped as he realised what he'd just said.

"No that's not it! I just find women irritating that's all!"

"It sounds like you're fucking queer to me!"

"Well what about you? You're accusing me, but you're the one who got weird when I started flirting with a girl!"

"That's not it, fuck you!"

"Fine, let's just drop it"

"Good" The awkward silence was there yet again, and this time it was broken by Shikamaru's phone signalling another text.

'_My little bro is having a party tomorrow night, love to see you there ;) x' _He looked at Hidan who looked pissed but wasn't saying anything.

'_Would love to, but already have plans, very sorry maybe some other time x' _

-Page Break-

"When are you seeing the bitch then?" It was the first attempt at conversation for a good few hours.

"I'm not seeing her. I told her I was busy" Hidan looked surprised.

"Eh? But I thought you liked her?"

"She's ok. But I have to live with you, and I'd rather stay alone than deal with your irritating moods"

"Screw you asshole" Although he said that, Hidan couldn't help the smile on his face. Shikamaru often fought with him and got annoyed with him, but at least he put him first.

"Oi Shiiikaa?"

"What?"

"...Thanks"

"You're actually being polite? That's rare"

"Shut the hell up, I was trying to be nice!"

"I appreciate the sentiment. And you're welcome"

"Now can we do something? Sitting around is so fucking dull!"

"Fine, we can play the wii" Hidan gave him a very funny look.

"The what?"

"I'll show you"

"I don't think I want to fucking know!"

-Page Break-

"Ok, do you get how it works?"

"Yeah, yeah, move the white thingy and cut shit up. Ok"

"And make sure you put the strap round your arm! If it goes into the TV, it'll cost loads to fix"

"I know, stop fucking nagging!"

It started out alright. Hidan seemed to enjoy the virtual fencing, and it seemed to provide good stress relief. Although the shrieks of 'Die whore!' and 'Don't fuck with me you shithead!" were a little loud. He felt sorry for the neighbours putting up with this almost continuously. Eventually though the game got harder...

"That dick just killed me!"

"That's because you didn't block enough!"

"Fuck that shit. I just want to kill!" He let out an angry roar and went to slice the computer player, only to lose grip on the remote and send it flying out the window.

"How the hell did you do that?"

"I don't fucking know!"

"Well it better not be broken or mum will kill me!"


	13. Chapter 13

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

Shikamaru was sprawled out on the bed deeply asleep. The pillows were comfy, the duvet was warm, and everything was good. Sadly Hidan was not having such a good time. He couldn't sleep, and couldn't even get comfortable. Seeing the other looking so relaxed made him irritated.

_How dare that bastard get a nice sleep while I'm fucking up! Fucking peasant! I'll show him. _He chuckled to himself and sat up ready to annoy the other man.

Hidan stared down at Shikamaru as he slept, and realised something odd. When he wasn't nagging, or looking irritated he was slightly... cute. No! Not cute! He was a guy; he didn't think things like that! But he couldn't help himself. Shikamaru face was completely relaxed. His face was soft, and it was almost like he was smiling. Hidan watched completely entranced until he realised how weird this was.

_None of this weird shit! _He slapped himself in the face disgusted by the irritating thoughts he was having. Hidan gave his head a small shake and leant forward to stop this once and for all.

He lifted his finger up. Poke. Wow. His cheeks really were soft.

_Shit! No more of that! _This time he jabbed harder, continuing to prod until Shikamaru pushed him away.

"What do you want?"

"I couldn't fucking sleep, so why the fuck should you be able to?"

"You... are an asshole" Shikamaru looked at the clock and let out a groan. "Hidan it's 7 in the morning! Go back to sleep" And with that he turned round and tried to sleep.

Hidan sat and stared at Shikamaru watching his face again, before Shikamaru noticed he hadn't moved.

"What's wrong with you?"

_Shit!_

"Nothing you dick! I'm... going downstairs!" And Hidan ran for it.

_I do not want any more of this fucking shit! I'm not a fucking woman!_

-Page Break-

Shikamaru tried to sleep, but he just couldn't get comfortable. That moron and his constant need for attention. It was tiring and irritating. But at the same time he couldn't help but enjoy his company. He wasn't really a lonely person, but he wasn't incredibly social either. It was more to do with laziness than anything, and though his circle of friends was fairly large, he rarely talked to people outside of it. So although Hidan was troublesome, he was good to have around.

Deciding he didn't trust him alone downstairs, Shikamaru decided to go downstairs and stop him from breaking anything.

"What are you doing now?" Hidan was on the floor, a knife raised above his stomach ready to strike.

"I was fucking bored!"

"So you're mutilating yourself? You are insane! Just put the knife down!" Hidan pouted but did as he was told anyway. Shikamaru pulled it away and returned it to the kitchen mumbling about troublesome fools. He returned to see Hidan pouting still and he knew there was going to be trouble.

"What's wrong now?"

"My head huuurrtttss"

"How so?"

"It just does! And it won't stop!" Shikamaru sighed and put his hand on Hidan's forehead.

"Oh god, you feel really hot! You must be getting that cold that's been going around. How the hell does an immortal get a cold?"

"Fuck you! Just because I don't die doesn't mean I don't get shitty colds"

"Fine, we'll deal with it. Go and lie down and I'll get some cold medicine"

"I'm not going back to fucking bed, and I don't want your shitty medicine!"

"Well what else can I do?"

"Just... don't leave" He looked a little helpless and childlike as he said that.

"I'll stay here" Shikamaru sat down on the sofa and picked up a magazine. There wasn't much else to do.

He felt the sofa sag as Hidan sat down next to him. At first nothing was said, but he got the shock of his life, when the other man decided to lie his head down on his lap.

"What are you doing?"

"It makes me feel better you dick!" He felt embarrassed too, but at the same time, it was pretty comfortable. It was annoying but Shikamaru decided to just leave him be. After a short while Hidan had fallen asleep, completely relaxed on Shikamaru's lap.

-Page Break-

It was a few hours later and Shikamaru had exhausted all reading materials within an arm's reach. Now he was completely bored, Hidan was still asleep, and the worst part of it was he was desperate to go to the toilet. First he tried shifting his legs. Hidan barely moved, and when he increased the amount he shifted his legs, he simply pushed up against him more.

Next he started prodding him. It was ironic that only a few hours ago he'd been irritated at Hidan for exactly the same thing.

"What you want? I was sleeping you dick" Hidan looked drowsy as he said that.

"You're on my lap, and I need to pee so move" He could hear the cries of disgust as he pushed Hidan off and rushed to the toilet, barely able to keep it in. When he came back, Hidan was scowling at him, his face slightly flushed.

"I can see you still have a fever"

"No shit"

Letting out a frustrated sigh, Shikamaru walked all the way back to the bathroom, to find the cold medicine.

"Right, if you have two spoonfuls of this and rest a bit you should feel better"

"What is that shit?"

"It's cold medicine, not shit. Now sit there and take it" He poured some out and held it towards the fool.

"Keep it the fuck away from me!" Hidan knocked it on the floor and jumped over the sofa. It would've been impressive if he hadn't caught his foot mid jump and slammed into the ground. Shikamaru took the opportunity and pinned him down before he could run.

"Stop being so childish and take the damn medicine!"

"No! Leave me the fuck alone!"

Although Hidan was larger and probably stronger, he'd been weakened by the cold, and Shikamaru used this to his advantage. As much as he kicked and swore, Hidan was not going until he'd taken the bloody medicine, and that was that. Finally He managed to force him into a corner, and push him into the wall.

"Now are you going to grow up a little?" As the idiot pouted, Shikamaru realised that he was practically straddling him.

_This is weird..._

"Get the fuck off me you dick!"

"Have your medicine and I'll move"

"Fine, for fucks sake!" Hidan whined. He looked like a toddler having a tantrum. Shikamaru was glad he'd agreed though, cause sitting in that position was just plain awkward. Even the complaining afterwards was preferable.

"It tasted like piss! How is that supposed to be helping?"

"It just does. Now go to bed, and stop whining, you're not a little kid"

Just as he managed to get comfortable watching the TV, the idiot decided to lean up against him.

"What are you doing?"

"Hnn..." Hidan couldn't even be bothered to reply. He just fell asleep with his head on Shikamaru's shoulder, leaving the other stuck on the sofa.

"Troublesome moron"

_It's like having a dog..._


	14. Chapter 14

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

Although Hidan's cold had disappeared overnight, his mood was still pretty bad. In particular he was annoyed about being pinned to the ground, and it was unlikely he was going to let it go anytime soon.

"You're a fucking asshole and I hate you" Hidan was sitting at a safe distance, on the other side of the room.

"I was helping you, at least you feel better"

"You're still a cock"

Shikamaru just decided to ignore him, as he seemed to thrive on attention. He didn't have time for this idiocy either as his friends were coming round that night. They were going to watch movies, drink a few beers, and generally have a good night. Though really it was really just an excuse for Kiba to moan about how Hinata never pays any attention to him, and for Choji to give Sasuke a tough time for taking Ino's attention.

Most of his friends were obsessed with women, especially Kiba, although Naruto and Sasuke obviously didn't have that problem. Suigetsu was also women obsessed, though most of them knew he had a crush on a friend of Sasuke's older brother. It was also common knowledge that Karin, who practically stalked Sasuke, had a 'secret' crush on Sakura.

_Wow... My friends have such complicated love lives..._

"Why do your shitty friends have to come round?"

"Because they're my friends, so can you try to be nice?"

"Only if they're not pricks!"

"Fine, just don't start anything"

-Page Break-

Sadly it was impossible for Hidan not to start something. This time it was Sasuke he started on.

"Hey fuckface, do you know your hair looks like a chicken's ass?"

Naruto could barely stand he was laughing so much. Sasuke on the other hand looked really pissed off.

"You really need to put a muzzle on your dog Shikamaru, or maybe a choke chain would be better?" He then stalked off in a rage, leaving Shikamaru to deal with Hidan who was scowling.

"I hate that asshole!"

"Just shut up, before I decide to try out the choke chain" After yesterday, Hidan wasn't taking any chances so he wisely left it.

"I bought booze!" Kiba was looking pretty proud of himself. "I stole it from my sister's stash"

"Her stash?"

"Eh-yep, she has a stash of alcohol in her room, along with... other things"

"Don't tell me I really don't want to know!" Choji shuddered and began opening the bags.

They passed out the beers and began flicking through the DVD's. Hidan sat in the corner, watching and scowling.

"Hey crazy guy, want a beer?" Naruto held out the can invitingly.

"No! Don't give him beer!" Shikamaru hissed, but nobody seemed to care. If he was this bad normally, how bad would he be drunk? Or with a hangover?

"Stop calling me crazy!" Hidan stormed over and snatched the beer, and sat with the others.

"Just don't drink it too fast!" Once again Shikamaru was ignored and the imbecile downed half the can in one go. He gave him a look as if he was daring the other to do anything about it.

_Someone else can deal with him tonight_ thought Shikamaru sipping his beer. _He's immortal anyway; I doubt he can get very drunk._

-Page Break-

When it came to Hidan, it was like Shikamaru always got things astoundingly wrong. They had all got a little tipsy at least. They had started watching Jurassic Park, and no one was really paying attention. Naruto had fallen asleep, and Kiba was doodling on his face, whilst Sasuke enjoyed fondling the oblivious blonde. Choji was ignoring the others, and staring forlornly at his phone. They had all considered confiscating his phone so he didn't make a drunken call to Ino again, but he'd promised a fist to the face to anyone who'd even try it.

Shikamaru sat slightly off from the others watching the movie. He was tired, and just wanted to relax, not caring what the others got up to. Instead of fussing around Hidan, he simply left him to it. It's not as if he wasn't an adult, he could look after himself. Speaking of Hidan, actually he'd been suspiciously silent most of the night. After the first 2 or 3 beers he'd distanced himself slightly, ignoring the others. It wasn't known how much alcohol he'd consumed after that, but it was definitely more than the others. He'd probably passed out, but Shikamaru thought he should check on him as he was getting a little worried about him the more he thought about it.

He didn't have to look very far to find him. Unknown to him, Hidan had moved so he was sitting just over a foot away from him on the sofa, so when Shikamaru turned he jumped. Hidan's face was slightly flushed, and his stare was kind of blank. Although he was looking at the TV, it didn't look like he was taking anything in. It was a little worrying actually.

"Err, Hidan?" He looked away from the TV and stared at Shikamaru. "Are you... Ok?" There wasn't really anything else he could say. Hidan grinned looking a little maniacal as he did.

"I'm fucking awesome! Everything's fucking great!" His words were a little slurred but not that bad. He glanced down and seemed to just realise that he was still holding his drink, as he decided to down the remnants of it.

"Maybe you shouldn't drink anymore?" It was a little worrying to see this.

"Why?" Hidan giggled to himself. "Why? Why? Why? Why? Whhhhhhyyy?" He laughed.

"That's exactly why" Shikamaru decided to move any remaining drinks away from him. Not that there was much to move. Almost all of it was empty. "How much have you drank? You're so troublesome" Hidan just giggled.

_At least he's... happy? _

"Hey Sshikka?" He bought his face dangerously close, and Shikamaru was a little worried.

"Want something?"

"You're my favourite"

"Err, that's nice. Thank you Hidan"

"Heeyyyy"

"What?"

"What about meee?"

"What about you?" Shikamaru didn't really like dealing with crazy people on his own. He tended to freeze up in situations like this.

"Am I your favourite too?" Hidan gave him what he obviously thought was a cute look.

"I suppose so..." Hidan grinned and happily glomped him. "Gah! Get off you idiot!"

"Dun wanna" Hidan pouted and gripped him tighter.

_Oh god. I'm going to be crushed by a moron._

"Hey Shika?" Sasuke was standing over them with his eyebrows raised. "We're all gonna be leaving now, will you be ok?"

"Err..." _Please don't leave me alone with this psychopath._

"Yeah, go awaaay. I want Shiiikaa" Hidan slurred gripping him tighter.

"I'll walk you guys out!" He managed to get loose of Hidan's grip and dashed to the front door.

"Will you be ok with him?" Choji seemed a little worried. The other two were holding up a still unconscious Naruto.

"Yeah I'll be fine" He hoped anyway. "See ya later Choji"

When he walked back into the lounge Hidan was staing intently at the TV. It had come to the part where the lawyer was eaten by the escaped T-rex. It appeared that Hidan found this absolutely hilarious.

"That guy! He just- He just..." Hidan broke off from laughing so hard.

Shikamaru sat and watched the movie, ignoring the hysterical idiot. After a while he stopped laughing, and made his way over to the sofa. Shikamaru tried to remain still in the hope that Hidan would leave him alone if he didn't react. That was wishful thinking. He draped his arms, over the other's shoulders. You could smell the strong stench of alcohol on his breath.

"Shiiiiikaaaa~" Hidan purred into his ear. Shikamaru shuddered slightly, feeling nervous. He had no reason to be though. This guy was an idiot.

"Wh-what is it?" He couldn't help but stammer slightly. Hidan buried his face into his neck and sighed.

"Do you hate me?" Shikamaru turned his head to see the idiot looking right into his eyes. It was very off-putting.

"You know I don't hate you" His mouth felt dry. This was so awkward. If only the guy would just pass out so he could move. Hidan gave a happy grin.

"I don't hate you too!"

"Ok, now that you've sorted that can we go to bed?" Hidan simply stared at him.

_Please move idiot!_

Sadly everything was against him at that moment. Instead of moving like he'd hoped, Hidan leant in closer. Shikamaru tried to back away but the sofa was there trapping him. One moment, Shikamaru was trying to break free; the next Hidan was kissing him. Shikamaru froze unable to believe what was happening.

_?_


	15. Chapter 15

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

Shikamaru had frozen up completely. He could feel his cheeks going red, and he would admit that Hidan's lips against his felt kind of nice...

_No! I'm not gay! _He managed to get his arms lose and force Hidan off, panting for breath as he did. Hidan looked confused.

"I thought you didn't hate mee" Shikamaru stared at him. "Nobody likes me, it's not fair" And Hidan started crying.

_Oh god. What the hell do I do now? _ Grimacing at what he was about to do, he wrapped his arms around Hidan and pulled him into an embrace.

"I don't hate you, you're just drunk. Just go to bed and sleep it off" He sniffled and nodded, before laying back on the sofa and falling asleep. "Hey! Not there you fool" The other carried on sleeping oblivious.

Sighing, Shikamaru turned him on his side, and went up to bed.

_He'll be fine, just hope he doesn't remember what just happened...___Blushing, he forced the pillow over his head and tried to sleep.

-Page Break-

The first thing he was aware of was his head. It felt like someone was stamping on it repeatedly. Every small movement he made caused the sensation to worsen, making him groan with pain.

"Ugh..." Hidan held onto his head as he sat up. Not only did he feel like absolute shit, but the room also appeared to be spinning which made him feel so much worse. Crouching down on the ground, he held his head in his hands trying to halt the spinning.

_Fuck this shit; this is all that Shika dicks fault. I'm gonna kill him! _ Pulling himself to his feet, he stumbled up the stairs to find the bastard and make him pay.

Shikamaru could hear the uneasy footsteps and the muffled curses and froze yet again.

_I hope he doesn't remember last night._ After some though he decided to face the wall and pretend to be asleep, in the hope that Hidan would give up and go bother someone else. Though his chances were slim as Hidan wasn't the kind of person to be considerate. He heard the door open and stayed still.

When he saw Shikamaru was still asleep, he was furious. How dare the bastard get some sleep while he was suffering! He was going to pay for this! Leaning on the bed, he kneeled down next to the little dick, and frowned. The bed was warm and comfortable, while he had a stiff back from sleeping on the sofa. Rolling Shikamaru over, Hidan sat with his back against the wall and kicked the other, causing him to roll off the bed.

"Why did you do that?" It had been a shock to suddenly find himself mid air.

"My head fucking hurts, I feel sick and you left on the fucking sofa! Why should you get to sleep?"

"Get a glass of water then and maybe some pain killers"

"Pain killers?" Looking at the mystified expression on Hidan's face he knew he'd have to do it for him.

"Wait there a second"

After force feeding him paracetamol, and getting him water, Shikamaru stayed quiet hoping Hidan wouldn't ask any questions.

"What the fuck happened?" _Oh god._

"Well... you drank loads, laughed at a man getting eaten alive, then fell asleep on my sofa" Hopefully Hidan wouldn't realise he'd left anything out. The other man looked thoughtful.

"You sure there wasn't something else?"

"How do you mean?"

"I could fucking swear something else happened"

"Well, I couldn't really say, I spent most of my time with Choji"

"Meh, I don't really fucking care anyway, my head huuurrtttss" As annoying as the whining was at least he'd dropped the subject. Hidan slumped on the sofa and held one of the pillows over his head.

"It'll go off eventually" Shikamaru just went to get on with breakfast. It just felt too awkward being around him for too long, and if he avoided him maybe he wouldn't realise there was a problem.

"Don't cook any fucking food! The smells' making me siiick"

"It won't make you ill, it's perfect for a hangover" He didn't have one, but if it stopped the whining it was worth the effort. Hidan loved meat anyway so if he gave him lots of bacon it might put him in a good mood.

When he bought the food out, Hidan peered out from under the pillow, took one look at the food and started retching.

"Just try it idiot, it'll help" Shikamaru just started eating his food. If the idiot wanted to spend the day half dead, that was his decision. After a few minutes, Hidan finally decided to emerge from the pillows, and try some of his bacon roll. After a few minutes he'd practically devoured it. "Told you so"

"Fuck you!" He huffed loudly, and laid back down gripping his head, and squinting slightly.

"Still in pain?"

"Yes screw you"

"Don't worry, the pain killers will help. Drink a lot of water too"

"Hn" Hidan was deep in thought. There was something, he was deep in thought trying to figure out. Something had happened last night that was bothering him badly. He knew that someone else had been involved too. Who was it though? Not the fat asshole, not the dog fucker. Blondie had passed out. And the chicken hair asshole hadn't been anywhere near him. So by process of elimination it had to be Shikamaru. But he hadn't mentioned anything else.

Looking over at him now he realised that the other was sitting further away from him than usual. He also seemed tense, like something was bothering him.

_Shit, it must've been something really fucking bad. _

But what the hell could he have done? It's not like he'd never been a little drunk! So what did he usually do?

_So I had lots of fights... it probably wasn't that... and there had been a couple of times I trashed a few things. _He looked around. _Nothings fucking broken either... The only other thing was the fucking but... _

_..._

_..._

_Shit._

It was like someone had flicked a switch in his head. Images began pouring in. Shikamaru backing away, Shikamaru pushed up against the sofa, Shikamaru with his face flushed as Hidan pushed his lips into his.

_Oh shit! That's really bad, I should not have fucking done that! _He looked over at Shikamaru who was avoiding eye contact with him.

"Oi fuckface?"

"Yeah?"

"You sure nothing else happened last night?"

"Definitely sure" You could see the flush on his cheeks. "Why do you ask?"

"No fucking reason!" _I am never thinking about this creepy shit again._


	16. Chapter 16

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine**_

They had spent most of the day avoiding each other, and Yoshino was a little worried. As her son was quite a secretive person, she decided it would be Hidan that she would talk to. She waited until he was alone before bringing it up.

"Have you guys had a fight? Because that's perfectly normal, and it doesn't have to mean the end of your relationship" Yoshino was also giving him a reassuring smile that caused Hidan to start choking.

"We haven't had a fucking fight! And we're _not _in a relationship" For someone with little shame, Hidan was turning very red.

"Sure, sure. So, what happened?"

"N-nothing!" _Fucking nosy bitch! Piss off!_

"Come on I might be able to help"

"... I got drunk, and kissed him" At this she squealed and wrapped her arms around him. "Get off me you crazy bitch!"

"But that's a good thing! Why are you guys so bothered?"

"Because neither of us are queers!"

"I'm pretty sure Shika is"

"He can be if he wants, but I'm not!"

"If you really didn't like him, why did you kiss him?"

"I-" Hidan stopped as he realised she had a good point. He'd been with a lot of women whilst drunk and it had never bothered him. But he'd never been near anyone he disliked. The only people he'd ever had sex with, he'd considered fucking them before.

"So maybe you do like him in that way" Yoshino continued. "And if so, you ought to tell him"

"I don't fucking like him that way!"

"Really? So you wouldn't be jealous if he found himself a girlfriend?" But he had been jealous. He hadn't wanted _his _Shikamaru with anyone else.

_Shit, what if I do want to fuck him? _

"But I've never fucking liked guys!"

"You're still young honey, and there's a first time for everything" Words failed him by that point. "Besides, he hasn't realised it yet, but I think he likes you too" And she left the room, leaving Hidan alone to think.

-Page Break-

Next was Shikamaru. He was pretty stubborn, but as she already knew what had happened she would work on him.

"Hey Shika, can I talk to you a second?" He looked over from the computer.

"Err, ok. Is something wrong?"

"Not really, I just wanted to ask you about Hidan?"

"Oh I see" She smiled, as she noticed his ears turning pink. "What about him?"

"Did you guys have a fight?"

"No, of course not!"

"You haven't spoken much all day"

"There just hasn't been much to say"

"So it has nothing to do with him, shall we say, kissing you?" Shikamaru spluttered and turned a look of horror on his face.

"How did you know that?"

"I didn't I guessed. So he did kiss you"

"Yes, but he was drunk so it didn't mean anything!"

"Well did he say anything?"

"... He said a few things..."

"Like?"

"He said I was his favourite and that he didn't hate me... he also told everyone to leave"

"Hmm. Well that doesn't sound like just drunken ramblings"

"Yes it was! People always say things like that when they're drunk"

"Maybe he meant something by it"

"He's an imbecile of course he didn't mean it"

"If it was just a drunken thing, why are you so bothered by it?"

"Because it was awkward!"

"Do you feel something for him?" Shikamaru turned bright red.

"No! He's just a friend. In fact he's not even that, he's a pet!"

"Are you sure? Because it seems to me that you like him a little"

"Yes I'm sure!"

"If that's the case, I'll leave you to it and start cooking dinner"

-Page Break-

After she left, Shikamaru couldn't concentrate on anything else. He switched off his facebook, and sat on his bed thinking. There was no way that he liked the other man. It was doubtful that Hidan liked him either. He was a fool and on top of that, it was probable he liked women. Not that he was bothered by that...

Although Hidan hadn't seemed too happy when he'd been organising a date with Temari. And he was a little clingy... and he hadn't wanted to leave... and he'd fallen asleep on Shikamaru's lap...

_Oh god... But I don't like him in that way... do I? _Shikamaru felt a funny jolt in his stomach when he realised that maybe he did like Hidan. _It would definitely not be mutual though. I'll just forget it..._

-Page Break-

Hidan was also bothered by what Yoshino had said. Especially the last comment about Shikamaru getting a girlfriend. He was definitely against the idea of him finding anyone. But unless he did like him, how was it his problem?

He tried to picture it. Lying back, he closed his eyes and imagined Shikamaru with the pink haired bitch. Nothing. Then he had them holding hands. Still nothing. But when he imagined them, kissing each other, he felt a twinge of anger and jealousy.

_Oh fuck, this is really bad! He's the worse fucking person to like! He's so fucking lazy, and bitchy! _

After thinking all those things, it was understandable that Hidan practically jumped off the sofa when Shikamaru walked in.

"FUCK!" Maybe the shouting out hadn't been a good idea.

"What's wrong with you now?"

"Don't fucking surprise me like that!"

"I just walked into the room!"

"You did it too fucking quietly though!"

"I did it the way I normally do! You are so insane!"

"Fuck you!" At least that felt a little normal. They sat next to each other on the sofa in silence. It was awkward, but a little less awkward than earlier.

"You two are quiet" Yoshino walked in carrying the food. "Is everything ok?"

"Of course!"

"No fucking problem!"

"That's a relief" She gave them a smile. "Enjoy your food boys"

"You're not eating with us?" Shikamaru was slightly nervous about being left alone with Hidan.

"I don't normally. Besides you guys don't need me around ruining the mood!" And she ran off before either of them could yell at her.

"Troublesome woman"

"She's a devious little bitch! Why is she so fucking obsessed with queers anyway?"

"Who knows..."


	17. Chapter 17

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine.**_

Last night Hidan had slept on the sofa, without complaining at all. Shikamaru had given him a funny look and asked if he was ok, but he said nothing. He needed time to think anyway. The thought of Shikamaru being with anyone else made him sick and he didn't know why. Feelings like love were beyond him, so it couldn't be that. So it had to be something simpler.

_He's not really my fucking friend, he's too bossy... He's more a fucking servant... So..._

There was only one thing left that it could be. And that was...

_I'm going to have to fuck him._

It was the only possible explanation. He hadn't had sex in a long time, and Shikamaru was the only person he ever talked to that much. That had to be it. So all he had to do was fuck him, and then he would be fine.

_Still fucking weird though..._

-Page Break-

It was early in the morning when Yoshino left. Hidan heard the door slam, and decided he couldn't just lie around when he had things to be doing.

Shikamaru was obviously still asleep, being the lazy asshole that he was, so Hidan just sat on the bed next to him hoping he would just wake up without him having to make any effort. Of course Shikamaru just carried on sleeping. While he waited, he found himself staring at him yet again.

Pulling down the covers slightly he saw that Shikamaru was only wearing a shirt and his boxers. He was a lot smaller than Hidan, but not feminine. His body wasn't curvy, and although his hair was long, it wasn't particularly smooth or interesting. Really he wasn't that amazing to look at. Yet he couldn't help but want to touch him anyway.

Lifting his hand, he ran it lightly over Shikamaru's hair. It was strangely soft. Although he made a slight mumbling noise he stayed sleeping. You had to bother him quite a bit to wake him up though. Next he ran his finger down Shikamaru's arm. His skin was soft with very few blemishes. Feeling brave, Hidan leant down and brushed his lips on Shikamaru's cheek. Still no movement.

_So maybe I could..._

He moved his hand down the others body, and started to pull down his boxers. It was then of course, that Shikamaru decided to wake up. He took one look at where Hidan's hand had frozen and lost it.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

"I-" _Shit, how the fuck do you explain this?_

"THERE BETTER BE A GOOD EXPLANATION OR I WILL KILL YOU!" He had never seen him this angry. Though from the colour his face was going, it was probably embarrassment as well.

"I... need to fuck you!" _That was not the best fucking way to put it. _Shikamaru was staring, words apparently failing him.

"You need to what?"

"To... fuck you"

"W-why the hell? You have problems!" Shikamaru went to leave the room, so Hidan grabbed him and threw him back onto the bed. "What are you doing?"

"But I need to make it stop!" Hidan pinned him down.

"Make _what _stop?"

"I keep wanting to fucking touch you! And I don't want you to fuck anyone else! So I need to fuck you so I feel better!"

Hidan turned red, but he didn't care he needed to do this so the stupid feelings would go away. Shikamaru didn't know what to say to that, so he did what instinct told him to do.

He ran for it.

Hidan was left alone, staring at the door that Shikamaru had just run out of.

"Oh fuck"

-Page Break-

"He said what?"

"He said he needed to... fuck me"

Choji was so shocked he dropped his packet of crisps. And nothing could usually stop Choji from eating. This just showed how serious this was.

"And what did you say?"

"Nothing I ran..." Shikamaru didn't know what to do. If he went home Hidan would be there, but he couldn't just move out. He couldn't throw Hidan out either, it wouldn't be fair.

"Well you have to do something"

"I know I just don't know what to do! He said he wanted to touch me, and he didn't want me to be with anyone else, but then he said he just needed to fuck me!" It was just so confusing.

"It sounds like he likes you"

"Likes me?"

"As in he has a bit of a crush on you, but doesn't know how to deal with it so he thought having sex with you would make it go away"

"But... that's just stupid! Not even Hidan is that stupid!"

"Really?" Shikamaru thought about this a moment. He definitely wasn't going to be winning any prizes for intelligence. But mistaking love for lust was really pushing it too far.

"You might have a point there..." Shikamaru sighed. "This is troublesome, but I'm going to have to talk to that idiot"

"Yeah you should, because he's probably really confused right now"

"Oh Christ probably. Thanks Choji"

"Anytime"

-Page Break-

When he came back, his mother was nowhere to be seen and Hidan was still sitting on the bed. When he realised it was Shikamaru he quickly looked away, his face flushed.

"Are you... ok?" That was probably a stupid thing to ask, but it was an awkward situation.

"Take a fucking guess"

"Why did you do that?"

"Because! It felt like the right fucking thing to do!"

"Why was it the right thing?"

"Because your mother asked me if I fucking liked you after I kissed you and-" _Fuck he didn't know I remembered that!_

"You mean you remembered doing that?"

"Yeah..."

"Why didn't you say something?"

"Why didn't you?"

"Because it was awkward!"

"Well how the fuck do you think I fucking felt? I was the one who fucking did it!"

"...That's true. Do you even know why you did it?"

"No! But after your fucking mother said something I kept fucking thinking about it, and I thought I should fuck you and it might make it better!"

"That's not really a good idea"

"Well I'm no fucking genius!"

"I know, I know. Let's just forget about it ok?"

"...Yeah ok"

"And while we're still on the subject... What did you mean when you mentioned talking to my mother?"

"She asked me about it... said something about us being a fucking couple"

"..."

"Why?"

"Nothing. Can you just excuse me for a minute?"

Shikamaru started down the stairs just as Yoshino was coming through the door.

"Oh hi honey, are things better, between you and your lover? ~"

"Mother..."

"Yes?"

"What the hell did you say to Hidan?"

She was silent for a moment before using one of her innocent smiles.

"I have no idea what you mean. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go to gran's, she's fallen down the stairs! Byee!" And with that she ran.

"Don't run away you troublesome woman! And don't bring other people into it either!" He heard the car door slam and the engine starting up. "Why am I surrounded by fools?"


	18. Chapter 18

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

"Why were you fucking cooking?"

"Because mother has gone... out" It had been hours later, and Yoshino still wasn't back. She knew her son well and realised it was better to stay away until he'd cooled down. The main problem with this was that he was once again alone with the idiot.

"When's she coming back?"

"Who knows"

Hidan shrugged and carried on eating. Any excuse not to have to talk about what had happened earlier. There had been too many awkward silences in the past few days and it was starting to get tiring.

Shikamaru just couldn't forget what they'd talked about yesterday. And what he'd talked about with Choji. Maybe Hidan did like him in that way? It would explain a lot, like the possessiveness and the clinginess, and the general bad mood when anyone else was around. But he didn't know if it was mutual.

Every person he'd been with had been female. Not only that but he'd never actually done any of the chasing. He'd simply gone along with it, until the girl left him for being too unbothered. Maybe he wasn't really into girls. They did irritate him a little, and tire him out. And the idea of kissing them, or having sex didn't excite him either. So it must mean that he was either asexual or gay...

_I've never liked guys though..._ Hidan was still eating, and not looking at Shikamaru at all, giving him time to examine him. He was quite muscular, probably from swinging the overly large scythe around, taller than Shikamaru, and had fairly pale skin. Although an odd colour, his hair was interesting, and looked as though it would be soft to touch. Shikamaru had a passing thought about leaning over and stroking him like some kind of pet cat, but quickly pushed it aside with a blush on his face. He was blushing a lot lately.

"What's your fucking problem" Hidan had noticed he was being stared at, and was giving him a funny look.

"Nothing..." Although he said that he continued to stare into Hidan's eyes. They were strange. It was hard to place the colour. Maroon? Magenta? Violet? Hard to say.

"Oi, you're starting to creep me the fuck out!" Shikamaru was strangely unbothered by this idea. Normally it would be embarrassing but it was like he was being hypnotised the longer he stared into his eyes. Hidan was getting worried by this.

_What the fuck is he doing? _It felt like he was being looked into, and he didn't like it.

"Are you going to fucking stop?" Shikamaru blinked a little, before looking down.

"Yeah, sorry" Hidan didn't know how to ask why, so he just left it at that. It was a little weird, because Hidan had to admit he felt a little... turned on by it. He wanted to jump on him which was the second time that week. If ever there was a sign that he was attracted to Shikamaru that was it.

_But he's not even that fucking interesting! He's just this weird nagging asshole!_

-Page Break-

After a very long, very awkward night, neither of them was looking forward to going to bed. Shikamaru decided to take action.

"I might sleep in my parent's room tonight"

"You do that"

Although he was alone, he still couldn't stop thinking about Hidan. It was like his thoughts earlier had triggered something, causing all sorts of weird thoughts to enter his head. Like what would it feel like to kiss him? And not just a drunken accident either. It was so frustrating keeping it all bottled in, but he knew if he said something it would be overly weird for both of them.

Hidan had clearly been having similar thoughts as he decided at that moment to walk into the room.

"You awake fuckface?"

"No"

"Very fucking funny" He pulled back the covers and got into bed next to him.

"What are you doing?"

"I couldn't fucking sleep"

"I see..." They were silent for a moment before Shikamaru decided to take action. "Hidan?"

"Yeah?"

"I need to talk to you about something"

"What the fuck do you want?"

"Do you... like me?"

"Well I don't fucking hate you"

"That's not how I meant it"

"Well what the fuck were you talking about?"

"I think you know exactly what I meant" There was no reply to that. "I need to tell you something then"

"Is it that you're secretly a fucking woman? Because that would explain the bitching" Hidan chuckled slightly.

"No that is not it!" Shikamaru gulped at what he was about to do. It was nothing like him. He was supposed to be lazy and unbothered and leave it to others. But this was something he had to do.

"Just fucking say it" Hidan glared, and sat really close to him.

"I think I might... like you more than I normally like people"

"... Which is?"

"Oh for god's sake you moron! I'm trying to tell you that it's possible I love you!" There was silence as Shikamaru realised what he just said.

_Well that's not going as planned._

"S-same"

_?_

"Eh?"

"I think I might fucking love you too" Hidan wasn't looking at him then.

"Oh. I- I see"

_Well that was a good response. _

Neither of them quite knew what to do after that. After a few minutes of silence Hidan decided enough was enough and as they were already both pretty embarrassed he might as well go one further.

Reaching out, he gripped Shikamaru's shirt, and before he had time to complain, pulled him over and kissed him. It was very different from the first time. For a start they were both sober. And this time you could tell it was consensual. Shikamaru relaxed into it, and although it was only a pretty innocent kiss it was good.

"That was... unexpected..."

"Well you weren't fucking doing anything. And as you have fucking girly hair, you get to be the fucking woman!"

"...I hate you sometimes"

"Love you too fuckface"


	19. Chapter 19

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me.**_

When Hidan woke up the next morning he noticed two things: First, he was still in Yoshino's bed. And secondly, he was spooning Shikamaru. The other man was still sleeping deeply, and the soft sound of his breathing filled the room.

_And he's all mine~ _Hidan grinned and gripped him closer. Shikamaru shifted slightly in his sleep, and turned to face him. His face looked so soft and inviting, that Hidan, not liking to hold back, leant forward and kissed him. Lips against his was the first thing Shikamaru felt when he woke up.

Blinking slowly, he looked up to see Hidan who was looking at him in the same way a predator would stare at its prey. It was a little unnerving.

"Need something?"

"Yes I fucking do! Not sure you'd like it too much though"

"...Get away before I punch you"

Hidan made a tsk noise and moved away, sprawling himself out on the bed. Shikamaru looked around and realised what room they were in. He tried to stand and leave, but the fool pulled him back down and wrapped his arms around him again.

"Hey! I'm trying to move! We have to be at Naru's in an hour"

"Fuck that shit! Let's just stay here all day"

"I don't think it's appropriate to be spooning in my parent's bed"

"Fine" Hidan stood up, threw him over his shoulder and started down the hall.

"Where are you going?"

"Your bed"

"That's fine, except why do I have to come too?"

"Why the fuck do you think?"

Shikamaru started to protest but stopped when he was thrown onto the bed and pinned down by Hidan.

"So... how do you want it?" Shikamaru punched him in the face before pressing himself against the wall with a wary look in his eyes. "That hurt you asshole!"

"Don't try to rape then you moron!"

"I won't fucking do it if you don't fucking want it!"

"I know, I know" Although he had to admit he had been a little worried after the events of the other day. Hidan seemed to notice as he didn't continue what he had been doing.

"Do we still have to go to that stupid fucking place?"

"I promised I would you fool. Besides you don't have to go"

"I'm not letting you go on your fucking own!"

"Why not?"

"Because there are lots of ugly bitches you could cheat on me with!"

"Why would I cheat on you?"

"You liked that girl!"

"I turned her down to spend time with you"

"... Still, there are lots of annoying bitches, and your asshole friends!"

"Fine, just don't be overly rude or too clingy"

-Page Break-

Sadly that wasn't very likely. From the second they left the house he gripped Shikamaru's hand tightly and stayed close. Although they were together, it still felt odd being seen with him in that way.

_I guess I'll get used to it._

When they finally reached Naruto's house, he noticed the second they walked in.

"Hey guys how are-" He stared. "Waaait a sec... are you guys... together?"

"We walked here together yes"

"You know what I mean!"

"If you mean fucking, then we will be when I can tie the fucker down" Hidan smirked.

"Wow you guys are a pretty unlikely couple"

"I know, I'm still not sure how it happened"

"Temari won't be happy" Naruto winked and led them into the lounge. Sasuke, Kiba, Ino and Suigetsu were already there.

_Oh god, I forgot Suigetsu... _In some ways he was just as annoying as Hidan so they would either get on well, or absolutely despise each other.

"Who's this guy?"

"This is Hidan. Hidan, that's Suigetsu"

"Nice to meet 'ya" Hidan looked over at him, and Shikamaru knew what was coming next but could do nothing about it.

"What the fuck is wrong with your hair? It looks like a fucking woman's"

"What the hell! I didn't even say anything!"

"I'm sorry about that; he doesn't know when to keep things to himself"

"I can see that!"

"Fuck you!"

"Ok guys, knock it off!" Naruto luckily intervened and they soon stopped, but not without shooting daggers at each other.

"Come on idiot" Shikamaru just dragged Hidan away and pushed him down onto the sofa. Although as he fell, he pulled the other with him so he ended up on his lap.

"You guys look cute~" Ino seemed to approve.

"They look gay"

"That's because they are"

"What?" Kiba spun around to face them. "You guys have hooked up?"

"What the fuck do you think?" Hidan was scowling at him. He looked over at Shikamaru, who nodded in confirmation.

"That is weird"

"Yeah, why would you want to be with such an asshole?" Hidan replied to that by simply raising his middle finger.

"Kisame isn't exactly amazing though" Sasuke added in with a smug grin. Suigetsu spluttered.

"I don't know what you're talking about" It was pretty obvious that he did, from the colour his cheeks were going.

"Awww little Sui is embarrassed" Naruto cooed. "Poor Sui" He started patting him on the head and received an elbow to the stomach.

"Soooo" Shikamaru gulped. He didn't like the predatory look on Ino's face as she sauntered across the room. "How did it happen? I'm guessing you decided to surrender to your fate as an eternal uke when you saw the size of Hidan's-"

"Leave it there you troublesome woman!"

"It's true though"

"No it isn't! No spreading your lies you fool!" Hidan chuckled and gripped him closer.

"How do you know Shika isn't the seme?"

"The same way we all know you're the uke, dobe"

"Knock that off Sasuke!"

"Is it just me, or am I the only straight guy here?" Everyone stared at Kiba.

"It's just you"

"Yeah we all know you like it up the ass"

"Screw you guys!"

"Choji and Shino aren't gay"

"Pretty sure Shino is"

"How'd you figure that?"

"I've seen the way he looks at Kiba" Kiba started choking and gave the unbothered looking Sasuke a death glare.

"That's not funny!"

"It's fucking hilarious!"

"Screw you, you're a whiny prick!"

"Shove it up your ass dog fucker, before I fucking punch you!"

"Shika, why is your boyfriend so insane?"

"... Lack of oxygen to the brain? Dropped at birth? The possibilities are endless..."

-Page Break-

When they got back Yoshino still wasn't home. As irritating as she could be, she was still Shikamaru's mother and he hoped she was ok.

"Hey boys! I'm back~" He gave a sigh of relief as he heard the door open.

_Wait... I shouldn't be relieved!_

"_Hidan! Knock it off!" _Hidan who had been attempting to pull his shirt off paused.

"Why?"

"_You know what she's like! She'll go insane over this!"_

"_...Why are we fucking whispering?"_

"_So she doesn't hear!"_

"What's happened since I left then?" The two of them sprang apart as she entered the room, and attempted to look innocent.

"Not much"

"Yeah, he just bitched a lot as per fucking usual"

"...Oh my god"

_Oh no._

"You two!"

_How the hell did she work that out?_

"You are such a cute couple~" She made a loud screeching noise that had both of them gripping their ears.

"What the fuck was that?"

"More importantly, how did she make that noise?"

"Awww I'm so happy for you two! I shall go make a cake to celebrate~"

As she dashed off, they sat dumbfounded, unable to believe how insane she was.

"Your family is fucked up"

"You've only met my mother!"

"But your dad must be batshit insane to marry her!"

"Just knock it off"


	20. Chapter 20

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

"What are we doing now?"

"Walking"

"I never would've fucking guessed" Hidan was irritated. Not only had Shikamaru forced him to get up and not even let him have a little bit of fun first, he was also forcing him to walk somewhere when he really couldn't be bothered. It sucked.

"If you really want to know, I was thinking of finding a job"

"...A job?"

"Yeah it would be useful to have"

"I don't like it"

"Why not?"

"You'll be out all the fucking time! And you could easily cheat on me you dick!"

"Why would I cheat on you?"

"... You could. Anyway I'm not fucking letting you!"

Shikamaru couldn't help but feel a little worried. It was probably a bad idea to bring him, as he was likely to cause a scene. But he didn't want to leave him at home on his own. Not only was the fool clingy, Shikamaru also liked being around him. Besides he trashed the lounge when left for 15 minutes, so after a few hours there'd probably be no house left.

"Besides, I thought you hated making any kind of fucking effort? You always say shit like this is troublesome!"

"I know, but it will only be a few days a week and the money will be worth it"

-Page Break-

One of the local cafes was in need of a waiter so he thought he'd try there. It wasn't overly busy, and the hours would be pretty small.

_Perfect._

After checking to see that Hidan wasn't paying too much attention, he walked over to the woman behind the counter.

"Err, hello?" She looked at him and smiled.

"Can I help you?"

"I was hoping to apply for the part-time job"

"That's great! We were desperate for someone! Do you have a CV?"

"Yeah I do" Feeling pleased he'd managed to sort one the night before, he handed it to the woman who quickly scanned it.

"Looks good to me. So..." She scanned the page. "Shikamaru, you've worked in a shop before?"

"Yeah a couple of years ago" It had been a favour for his mother's friend that he really hadn't wanted to do, but it was useful as a reference.

"Well, you'd need to have a proper interview, but I think it's pretty likely as we haven't had any others"

"That's great thank you so-"

"What the fuck are you doing?"

_Oh hell. _Hidan was looking pissed. In particular, he was looking at the woman and looking pretty annoyed.

"Is this a friend of yours?" The woman was trying to be nice. Hidan answered before Shikamaru even had a chance.

"I'm his fucking boyfriend"

"Ah, that's sweet" She smiled. "You make a lovely couple"

"Why were you fucking talking to her?"

"Err..."

"He was applying for a job here"

_This can't end well._

"No he's fucking not!"

"Excuse me?"

"He's not fucking working in this shit hole!"

"Shit hole?"

"Yeah with ugly whores behind the counter!" Before anymore could be said, Shikamaru slapped his palm over his mouth.

"I am so sorry about that"

"I think it would be best if you leave" The woman said in a cold voice. She was no longer smiling.

Once they got far enough away Shikamaru lost it.

"Why did you do that?"

"I told you, I don't want you to fucking leave me!"

"It's only a few hours a day, and it wouldn't be more than a couple of days a week!"

"It's still too fucking long!"

"Don't you dare do anything like that again, or I will be seriously annoyed!"

-Page Break-

Hidan really seemed intent on getting his own way, and nothing was going to stop him. In the book shop Shikamaru applied at, he knocked down several bookcases and caused the small amount of customers to flee. He was definitely not getting that job.

Then there was the cinema (they were going to have to pay for the popcorn machine), the hotel cleaning job (they needed to evacuate so the foyer could be fumigated), and finally the DVD rental shop (it was a repeat of the bookshop incident on a larger scale).

"Why do you keep doing this? It's getting ridiculous!"

"I don't want you to fucking work all the time!"

"It's still interfering!"

"But you're mine! And I don't want you to fucking leave!"

"Fine! I won't bother ok? It's not like anyone will hire me anyway" Shikamaru just started walking home, feeling pretty annoyed.

"Sh-shikamaru?" Hidan sounded a little sorry, but he didn't care at that time. He'd listen later; he just needed some time to himself right now.

He could hear the other following closely behind, but he wasn't trying to talk to him anymore. When they finally got home, they sat on the sofa with the TV on in complete silence.

"I'm sorry"

"What was that?" Hidan looked a little annoyed, bit Shikamaru was still angry so he wanted to get all he could out of this.

"I said I was fucking sorry!"

"You sound it" He was acting irritated but he at least he'd improved slightly.

"For fucks sake, if you want to get a shitty job, then just fucking do it!"

"... No I probably won't. It's too troublesome"

"... Then why did you give me shit?"

"Because I did want to at first. I doubt anyone would hire me now though..."

"I know I'm a dick ok? You don't have to fucking rub it in!"

"You know I forgive you. It's not your fault you're a moron" He laughed and ran from the punch that was sent his way.

"Twat!" Hidan was pretty surprised he was forgiven so easily though. Normally it would be hours before they'd even talk.

"Oi?"

"What?"

"Why aren't you being a pissy little bitch?"

"I really can't be bothered with it after a day like this"

"That's alright then..." Hidan thought for a moment. "So... want to fuck?"

"...No"

"It was worth a try"

-Page Break-

Shikamaru was dreading telling his mother what had happened. She would not be happy about paying for the popcorn machine. But although he had been furious earlier, he couldn't bring himself to care. It had been a little funny seeing the reactions of the people earlier.

It was his own fault in a way that he was so clingy. He'd started the relationship, and he hadn't exactly stopped Hidan from getting what he wanted.

"Hey fuckface!"

"What?"

"Stay there a second"

"Why?"

"Just do it asshole"

He stayed standing wondering what he wanted when he felt Hidan's hand starting on his trousers.

"Knock that off you troublesome idiot!"

"But I want toooo" The whining was back with a vengeance.

"Idiot..."

"You're just frigid"

"Just go take a cold shower, I'm going to bed"

When he got to the top of the stairs he was pulled aside by Yoshino.

"Need something?"

"I just thought you'd like to know that your father's coming home tomorrow"

"What? But... how do I tell him about Hidan?"

"He'll be fine with it honey I promise"

"But what if he isn't?"

"You know he's not a bad person. He's a lot like you, so I think it'll be too 'troublesome' to bother him" She giggled.

"If you're sure..."

"I'm positive"

_**This chapter's a little weird but I like the way it turned out :L **_

_**And Refrigerator-Burn, am bringing in Shika's dad next chapter :3 Thanks for always reviewing ^^**_


	21. Chapter 21

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

"Hidan! Wake up!"

"Nnn?"

"Get. Up. Now" Shikamaru couldn't be bothered to go over to the bed, so he settled with throwing a shoe at Hidan's head.

"Why the fuck did you do that?

"Because, I have something important to tell you"

"For fuck's sake, what?"

"My father's coming home for a couple of days..."

"... That's it?"

"It's really important! He doesn't know about us! I don't know what he'll think either!"

"Your mother doesn't give a fuck"

"Well he might, so try not to be too much of an asshole ok?"

"Fine if you're going to be such a whiny little bitch about it"

"Good... and thanks"

-Page Break-

It was 11, almost time for Shikaku to come home, and Hidan was still in bed. Although he knew how worried Shikamaru was, he was just too lazy to come downstairs.

_I'm going to kill that idiot when I see him! _

He heard the front door open and froze. His dad hadn't been back for a couple of months and it was always a little awkward when they did meet up.

"Welcome back honey!" Yoshino never felt awkward and rushed out to see her husband.

"It's good to see you too, now can I go sit down? My feet are killing me" Shikamaru ran into the kitchen putting it off. It was too weird, and he couldn't think of how to deal with it. That could also be why Hidan was making himself scarce.

"Need me to get you anything?"

"Tea I guess... and where's Shikamaru?"

"I think he was just in the kitchen" _Curse that all knowing woman..._

"Hey Shika! I'm home!"

"Coming!" He walked into see his dad relaxing on the sofa. "Hi there dad"

"Good to see you again Shika" You could see where Shikamaru got his looks from when you saw Shikaku. They looked almost exactly the same, aside from the obvious age difference and the scars on his father's face. He insisted he'd gotten them in a bar fight when he was younger, but with him it was hard to tell.

"Same here... Sooo how's work?"

"Not too bad I guess... How about you? How's school?"

"It's the holidays at the moment, so not much going on"

"Really? Wow, time does fly. What's been happening then? And your friends?"

"They've all been fine..."

"We've got wonderful news!" Yoshino was fed up with all the procrastinating so took it into her own hands.

"What's happened?"

"Shikamaru's boyfriend is living with us!"

_...At least it saved time I suppose..._

"His boyfriend?"

"Yes, his boyfriend Hidan"

"...I see..."

"Is that... ok with you, dad?"

"...So you're... gay?"

"I think so..."

"That's great news!"

"I know isn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, no offence son but we've always had a sneaking suspicion that you... played for the other team"

"... Thanks for that dad" _That was exactly the same thing mum said..._

"So when do I get to meet him?"

"I'll go get him now"

-Page Break-

"Hidan! What are you doing? I told you my dad was coming!"

"Ehh? Did you? I forgot..." Hidan was sitting, fully clothed on the bed, reading.

"...Is that a book?"

"What's wrong with that?"

"You don't seem the type to enjoy reading"

"Yeah well... fuck you!" He turned bright red, and looked away with a slight pout on his face.

"Are you... nervous?"

"No! Why the fuck would you think that?"

"You don't have to worry though"

"You were fucking worried!"

"I talked to him, and he has the same idea about us as my mother"

"He's fucked in the head too?"

"Most probably. So are you coming down?"

"Might as well..."

When they came downstairs, Yoshino and Shikaku were sitting together on the chair.

"Dad this is Hidan, Hidan this is my dad, Shikaku"

"Good to meet you"

"Whoa! He looks exactly like you! It's fucking creepy!"

"Hidan! Knock it off"

"Haha, it's so true. So how'd you two meet?"

"Oooo yes, I didn't hear much about that!" Both of them were looking eager. It was terrifying.

"Err..." _What was the story again? _"We met at one of Naru's parties"

"I see... and he's moved in with us?"

"Yeah, he has nowhere else to go so..."

"Well that's not a problem I guess"

-Page Break-

Not much was asked about Hidan's family or anything else, and for most of the day it went well. His dad had a similar personality to Shikamaru, so was equally as lazy and unbothered. There was only one problem when it came to Shikaku...

"So Hidan, fancy a drink?"

"What kind?"

"Maybe that's not a good idea" Shikamaru did not want Hidan getting drunk again, and his dad always went over the top when he did drink.

"It's only a few drinks just chill Shika" He started pulling out beer bottles from the cupboard. "You want any?"

"Me?"

"Come on, I know you all drink, I'm no fool. You might as well have some with your parents around"

"Err... thanks dad"

"Hidan?"

"Fuck yes"

_This cannot end well. _Yoshino had decided to leave them to it, so it was up to him to make sure the other two didn't do anything stupid. Wishful thinking...

It started out nicely. They all just talked a little, and drank with the TV on in the background. But those two did not appear to understand the meaning of the word 'restraint'.

"You know what Shika" _Oh god. _"I really do love your mother"

"That's great to know dad"

"Yep. Even when she's being a nagging cow"

"Nice"

"Same about Shika! He's a pissy little bitch too!"

"Knock it off Hidan!"

"Yeah he is so much like his mother sometimes"

"She is obsessed with queers though"

"Haha I know" It felt like he was being laughed at, and it was a little depressing.

_At least they're getting on I guess... _

"Right, I'm off to bed"

"Awww come on Shika don't be like that, we were just messing around"

"Yeah, don't leave you dick! I love yooouuu" Hidan not only grabbed him, but pulled him over so he was sitting on his lap.

"Let go of me idiot!"

"No!" He was acting like a kid.

"Well I'll leave you two to it; I'm getting up early tomorrow"

"Byyyee old Shikamaru"

"Wait! Don't leave!"

"Have fun~"

"No! You useless old man!"

But he had already gone and Shikamaru was left alone once again with a drunken Hidan.

"Soooo"

"What?"

"Let's do something"

"Only if it involves going to bed, because I need my sleep"

"That sounds fucking awesome!"

"Wait! I didn't mean-"

"Let's go~"

There was no time to protest as he picked him up, and carried him upstairs. Instead of throwing him onto the bed like he'd done earlier, he put him down gently and started kissing him. He started to push Hidan off, but it felt kind of nice so he let him do it for a while. But it was when his hand touched him in a very... private area he decided enough was enough.

"Hidan, stop there!"

"Why?"

"Because..."

"But you're enjoying it. I could tell from the way you were-"

"It's not that... I don't think I'm ready"

"You seem it"

"You're drunk idiot. I don't want my first time to be when one of us is drunk!"

"...Ohhh I get it"

"Good"

"You just look so fuckable"

"Was that supposed to be a compliment?"

"What the fuck else could it be?"

"Fine, but please don't force it"

"I wouldn't, it'll be better if you like it... you might do me some favours anyway"

"Idiot" Hidan still grabbed him and pulled him close.

"Even if you don't want to fuck, I still want to hold you"

"O-ok"

_This feels pretty nice anyway... _


	22. Chapter 22

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

Shikamaru was rudely interrupted from his pleasant dream about becoming a cloud when his mobile started blaring from the side of the bed.

"Whassat?" Hidan slurred looking confused.

"Hello?"

"GOOD MORNING SHIKA!" He had to pull the phone away as Ino shrieked into his ear.

"What's wrong with you, you troublesome woman?"

"Just thought you'd appreciate a lively wake-up call"

"I bet you did. Is that all you wanted?"

"Nope, actually I wanted to ask what you guys were doing this weekend."

"Nothing, why?"

"Choji's mum said we could go stay in their holiday home for a few nights, so we're gathering people"

"Sounds good to me"

"So you're in?"

"Yeah that'll be pretty fun"

"How about Hidan?" Shikamaru looked over at his pet moron, who was slumped on the bed making depressed groaning noises.

"I'll bring him along; otherwise he'll get into one of those moods"

"Hey! I know you were talking about me fuckface!" It appeared that he wasn't completely out of it.

"Ok, I'll tell 'em you're coming. Byeee~"

"What was that?"

"Ino was inviting us to a holiday home this weekend"

"Why?"

"Because it would be fun"

"With those assholes?"

"Well I'm going; maybe you don't want to come?"

"Of course I'm going you dick! If you leave me behind I will end you"

"Ok I get it, you're coming"

-Page Break-

"A weekend away eh? The perfect time to consummate your relationship!"

"For god's sake mother, knock it off!"

"Yeah Yoshino, leave the boys alone"

"Thanks"

"If Shikamaru is planning on being deflowered this weekend, it's none of our business"

"What is wrong with you two?" His parents may have been happy to let him go away, but they were still infuriatingly annoying.

"I don't why you're bitching, we all know you'll enjoy it" _Oh god, as if those two weren't bad enough..._

"Why are you joining in?"

"Because it's fucking hilarious!"

"I like your boyfriend Shika; he knows how to have a good time"

It was embarrassing and irritating but at least they all got along. Some parents would hate having the swearing idiot around their son/daughter, but obviously his were pretty lenient. It might have something to do with the fact that his dad was a lazy alcoholic, and his mother was a closet fujoshi.

"Now boys, your mother and I have some catching up to do, so do you mind going out?"

"...Did you have to be so obvious?"

"Honesty is the best policy, now get!"

And so they found themselves out in the street with nothing much to do.

"So... your parents are going to spend the day fu-"

"Don't you dare!" It was bad enough they had been so blunt about it, he didn't need Hidan going over the top as well.

"What the fuck are we doing then?"

"Walking? Fishing? I don't know"

"Fishing sound's gay"

"So are you"

"... Dick"

"Let's go to Choji's"

"Why? The fat fucker is there!"

"Kind of the point"

"He's creepy though"

"He's my best friend. Besides you can't say anything about people being creepy after the things you get up to"

-Page Break-

The first thing Choji did when they got there was bring out food. Lots of food. It was like a motto in their family that any guest coming round couldn't leave until they'd been filled to bursting point. Hidan seemed to approve as he sat there eating whilst the other two talked.

"Sorry about the moron"

"It's fine, he's pretty funny when you get used to him"

"I suppose..." _Lucky Choji's so good natured... _"So who else is going this weekend?"

"The usual gang, like Naru, and Sasuke and Kiba..."

"Stupid dog fucker"

"That was uncalled for"

"Hn"

"And we have a few random people coming too"

"Random?"

"Yeah some of the guys we don't see as often"

"Like?"

"Well... like Neji, and Gaara, and Lee and..."

"... You invited Tenten didn't you?"

"I'm so sorry Shika! I only asked Neji, and they're together now so I thought she might be less..."

"Psychotic?"

"Yeah that"

"Who the fuck is this Tenten?" The second Hidan realised they were talking about something female, he'd instantly started paying attention.

"She's a girl..."

"I never would've fucking guessed"

"That I used to be with"

"... You mean your ex-girlfriend will be there?"

"Sadly"

"We can't go then!"

"Why the hell not?"

"Because"

"I don't still like her if that's what you're worried about"

"Yeah, she was a psycho-bitch"

"Why? What the fuck did she do?"

"Choji, you can tell him"

"Basically, Shika agreed to be her boyfriend because he didn't like to say no. But then she became really clingy and possessive and started phoning him all the time and Shika got pissed off so he told her it was over. It was the first time actually because normally he's the one getting dumped"

"And?"

"Well it didn't stop there"

"Why? What the fuck did she do?"

"She became a psycho stalker" Shikamaru decided to rejoin the conversation. "I had to change my phone number because she kept calling, she'd show up at my house or anywhere I went. She even stole a pair of my boxers from the washing line once"

"That's fucking hilarious!"

"It really isn't. But still you have nothing to worry about because she stopped when she found a new boyfriend so she won't be too much of a problem ok?"

"Fine, but if you go anywhere near the bitch, I'll have to kill her and eat her intestines"

"...If that's what you really want..."

-Page Break-

It was early evening and Shikamaru had decided to escape from the never-ending weirdness by sitting in the garden and watching the clouds. After all the craziness recently, it was nice to have one thing that he'd always done in the same way.

"There you are, you sneaky dickweed!"

_Well that didn't last long._

"Want something?"

"Why did you fucking leave me alone in there? Your parents were in a fucking creepy mood"

"I needed some relaxing time"

"So you're watching the shitty clouds again"

"Ehyep"

"...Can I watch too?"

"But you get bored"

"But I waaaant toooo"

"Oh god fine, just no whining you'll give me a headache"

"Yep~"

Hidan came and sat close to Shikamaru, contented just with being nearby. For a while it was silent as they both just stared at the sky, but true to form Hidan was bored. But he knew if he complained, he'd be told to get lost. So instead of whining he leaned on the others shoulder and relaxed.

"Why are you doing that?"

"It feels nice"

"I guess so..."

"Hey Shika?"

"What?"

"I'm hungry"

"...Go get something then"

"Why the fuck should I? It's your job"

"It's not my fault you're lazy"

"Dick"

"Love you too"

"What was that?"

"What?"

"You just said you loved mee"

"And?"

"Do it again"

"No! It's embarrassing"

"Tough, say it"

"No!"

Shikamaru ran full speed into the house, followed by Hidan who had an evil smirk on his face.

_**I don't dislike Tenten by the way, I just thought she'd make a good psycho ex :3**_


	23. Chapter 23

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

"Have you packed anything?"

"Isn't that your job?"

Shikamaru had spent the whole day sorting through everything to make sure they were ready for the weekend away. It was obvious though that it was mostly going to be drinking and insanity, followed by random fights. In other words pretty predictable. Hidan had not bothered doing anything, so he had just packed his stuff as well and let the idiot laze. He'd probably make a mess or complain if he was asked to do anything.

The main thing that worried Shikamaru was Tenten. Although he hadn't heard anything from her in about a year, it was still scary. Especially as the last time he'd seen her she'd been sitting on the pavement outside his house crying hysterically and shouting 'asshole'.

"Where are we going again?"

"The seaside"

"Why the fuck would you want to do that?"

"Nicer weather, nice scenery, and change of pace"

"Hn"

"And would you mind helping me pack?"

"Yes"

"You mean you'll help"

"Yes I would fucking mind. You do it"

"I didn't expect you to do much anyway"

-Page Break-

Kiba had borrowed his mother's van to drive a group of them, which saved a lot of money on trains etc. The only bad news was Hidan had never been in a car before. Shikamaru had gotten so used to walking along without Hidan freaking out over something he almost forgot that he was not exactly from this time.

When Shikamaru told him he was going in a car, he had a freak out and threatened to kill anyone who tried to force him into the 'fucking thing'. Although he did agree to get into it, it did take another half an hour of persuasion to go through with it when the car actually arrived. And for some reason it never occurred to them that someone who'd never used a car before would probably get travel sickness.

"I wanna fucking diiiiie"

"What's wrong with you?"

"I feel really fucking sick, and my head hurts and I feel like shiiiiit"

"Please stop his whining Shika he's driving me insane"

"There's not much I can do about it" Hidan clearly didn't agree, as he kept poking him in the side and complaining about it. "Why are you bothering me?"

"Because you're supposed to be fucking smart!"

"Just go to sleep or something, it'll make you feel better"

"Fine" He then leant up against Shikamaru and closed his eyes. Every now and then he let out a groan, or a pitiful whine, which was a little irritating, but better than some of the other things he could be doing.

When they did get there he was out the door before they completely stopped and throwing up in a bush.

"Eww does he have to do that there?"

"Better than in the car" Everybody else went inside whilst Shikamaru waited.

"Why won't it fucking stop?"

"It wouldn't go on for so long if you didn't over eat so much"

"Fuck you"

-Page Break-

The house wasn't that big, so most of them had to sleep in the lounge. Shikamaru didn't care too much either way, but Hidan started moaning and insulting everyone until he got his own way and got them their own room.

"Why does it matter?"

"How can I get you to just take it like a bitch if we're in a fucking room full of assholes?"

"Is that all you ever think about?"

"No!" He did have to think about things for a while. "I didn't want you sleeping near the psycho-bitch"

"... That's a good point. I'm guessing it's more to do with you not wanting to sleep on the floor though"

"Hn"

Shikamaru could hear another car outside so he decided to take a sneaky look out of the window to see if she had decided to turn up. Neji Hyuuga had been driving with his friend Rock Lee in the passenger seat. He could see Hinata in the back seat and next to her...

_Oh god she's here._ Tenten looked almost exactly the same as before, the only difference being her hair looked a little longer.

"What are you looking at?" He turned around with a guilty look on his face to see Hidan giving him a suspicious scowl.

"N-nothing" Ignoring him, he stalked past him and looked towards the car.

"One of those bitches is your ex isn't she?"

"... Yes she is"

"Which one is it, the long-haired slut with the freaky eyes, or the manly looking one with the buns?"

"Hinata's a nice girl, so don't insult her!"

"Which ones that?"

"The long haired girl"

"At least she's not as fuck ugly as the man. Don't even think about touching her when I'm not looking!"

"She's not the one I was with..."

"...You were with the man?"

"Yes I was with the 'man'! Are you happy?"

"Haha that's fucking hilarious! Don't go anywhere near the slut though"

"I wouldn't want to"

"Ahh yeah, she was the psycho bitch"

"Yeah so it'll probably be better if we avoid her"

"If she fucking tries anything I don't care if she's a girl, I will break the bitch!"

"Nice to know you care so much, but I really want to move away from the window before she notices me"

"You're scared of her?"

"You have no idea how terrifying she is"

There was a near miss where she looked up, and Shikamaru had to dive to the floor and pull Hidan down with him.

"Why'd you have to pull me down too?"

"Because you were giving her a really creepy look"

"Well it fucking hurt!"

"I'm pretty sure you can deal with it"

It was while they were lying near each other on the floor that Ino decided to walk in.

"...I was just coming to tell you Neji and co are here, but I can see you're busy~"

"It's not like that!"

"Yeah this asshole dragged me on the floor, so the psycho bitch wouldn't see us!"

"Psycho bitch?"

"You know what he means..."

"Tenten?"

"Yep"

"I didn't think she'd show up"

"I wish she hadn't"

"She seems pretty happy with Neji so I doubt she'll bother you that much"

"I hope so"

"Yeah because if she does, I'll fucking end her!"


	24. Chapter 24

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

So far, Shikamaru had managed to make his excuses and stay up in his room where Tenten couldn't find him. Hidan was too much of a moron to realise that was why he was refusing to leave the room, so started whining.

"Come oonnn Shika, let's go do somethiinngg"

"I thought you hated my friends?"

"I do, but I hate sitting around in this shitty place. Can't we get out of here?"

"How do you mean?"

"Let's go outside. Or at least get some fucking food"

"... Ok" Shikamaru had a quick peek out the door before starting down the hall. He noticed that Hidan was giving him a very funny look.

"What the fuck is your problem today?"

"I think you know what it is"

"... You're scared of the psycho bitch aren't you?"

"Yeah I am"

"Don't worry about it; I'll protect you from the creepy-as-fuck man-woman"

"I appreciate the sentiment"

It appeared Tenten was off somewhere with Neji as they were both nowhere to be seen when they walked into the lounge. Everybody else was either sprawled on the sofa, or chatting in groups.

"Where the hell have you been?" Kiba couldn't wait for everybody else and had already started on the beers.

"Upstairs"

"Hiding from the bitch"

"Haha thought it would be that. Don't worry she's gone with a group of them to gather supplies"

"Thank god"

"So we sat up there for fucking nothing?"

"I know I'm sorry, now shut up and eat something, you're driving me mad"

Hidan being the asshole that he was, insisted that Shikamaru cooked him something. It was only pasta, but still involved effort, and he would rather have been keeping an eye out for Tenten. After a little while he almost forgot about her, which proved disastrous.

"Shika?" He was so shocked he dropped his spoon. Tenten was standing just a few metres away from him carrying a few shopping bags.

"Tenten... it's err, good to see you"

"Same to you... so how've you been?"

"Not bad I guess. How about you?"

"I've been doing ok. Neji and I have been together for a while"

"Yeah I heard, that's great"

"What about you?"

"Me?"

"Have you got a girlfriend?"

"Err..." _This will be weird _"I haven't got a girlfriend, but I'm not single"

"...Wait, you have a boyfriend?"

"Yeah I do"

"Haha, that's hilarious! I almost though you were serious!"

"Umm" It appeared she found the idea of him being gay pretty funny, which felt pretty awkward as Hidan had just walked in.

"What the fuck are you doing? I'm staaarved"

"It's almost done, so quit your whining"

"Who's this?" Tenten was giving him an odd look.

"This is Hidan"

"And who is he exactly?" Hidan realised who it was they were talking to, and instantly narrowed his eyes, ready for a fight.

"I'm his boyfriend"

"Eh?"

"It's true, he is"

"...You mean you weren't joking?"

"Nope"

"... S-sorry"

"No problem"

"I'm just gonna go now... I'll see you later"

"Yeah see you"

"Nice meeting you Hidan"

"Yeah, yeah" She left the room. "Irritating bitch"

"I'm so glad you were here, because I could not have dealt with that alone"

"You're fucking welcome. And why is that pan on fire?" Shikamaru turned to see that the water had boiled off, and the pasta had somehow managed to ignite.

"Oh hell!"

-Page Break-

The next day, everyone went to the beach. It was close to the house, and the weather was beautiful. Most of them didn't even bring a jacket, but Hidan could barely be bothered to wear clothes.

"You can't go out naked; it's not a nudist beach!"

"But it's so hot!"

"I don't care, At least put some shorts on"

"Fine you pissy little bitch"

Shikamaru did not like swimming very much. It was cold, wet, and the chances were high that there was some piss in the water. Although most people were either sunbathing or swimming, he just sat on his towel reading a book. Hidan was next to him looking longingly at the water.

"If you want to go swimming then just go"

"No!"

"Why not?"

"I want to stay with you" Shikamaru blushed as Hidan pulled him over into his arms.

"Why are you doing that?"

"Because"

"Ok then" _This is pretty nice... _

It was so relaxing that he almost fell asleep, and from the way the other man was slumping slightly, he already was.

"Don't you two look cute~?" They both jumped as Tenten came bounding over with a big smile on her face.

"Err hey there"

"What the fuck do you want?" Hidan was anything but civil.

"Don't be too rude!"

"It's fine! But seriously, you guys make an adorable couple"

"We know you bi-" He quickly slapped his hand over his lover's mouth before he had the chance to piss someone off.

"Thank you"

"No problem. I just came over to ask if you want me to get any drinks for you?"

"That would be-"

"Fuck no"

"Hidan!"

"I don't want a fucking drink!"

"It's fine, don't worry about it!" She walked off, leaving them alone together, yet again.

"You didn't have to be so rude about it!"

"I don't trust the bitch! She still likes you"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you fucking blind? She keeps looking at you, and giving me these smug-bitch looks"

"...I think you're just imagining it"

"You'll see"

"Whatever, I'm thirsty. I'll just go get some drinks"

"You can't fucking do that!"

"Why not?"

"Because _she's_ doing that!"

"She'll be gone by now, besides I'll get you something too"

"Fine, but don't take too fucking long or I'll have to tie you to the fucking bed later!" _Not a bad idea actually..._

While Shikamaru left to get the drinks, Hidan sat and fantasised about tying the other down. He would look so fucking adorable with a faint blush on his cheeks, and a thin layer of sweat all over his body. As he struggled against the rope, he would pant slightly as he gasped out his name.

"_Hidan~"_

"Hidan?"

"Hn?" Standing over him once again was the irritating man-beast.

"Hey there!"

"What the fuck do you want?"

"I just thought we got off to a bad start"

"Because I can see how much of a bitch you are"

"Awww you're cute. You feel threatened by me?"

"That's not it!" _Mindreading bitch!_

"You don't have to worry"

"Really? And why is that?" _Let's hear your bullshit then._

"Because you and Shikamaru are only together temporarily"

_Eh?_

"I ought to thank you really"

_What the fuck is she talking about?_

"You've been looking after my Shika for me, so he can deal with life"

_This bitch is fucking stupid._

"But I'm here now, so it would be better for everyone if you just backed off, so we could be together"

Now that was something Hidan knew how to reply to.

"You're the one who needs to back off bitch! He's mine now, he thinks you're a psycho, and he could do much better than an ugly little bitch like you!"

"That may be true, but let's think about this, he could do a lot better than a moron like you with nothing going for him but his looks"

Hidan was a pretty hard-skinned person, and could take most things, but the things she said really hurt. Worse than the many times he'd stabbed himself.

"I suggest you fuck off, before I make you"

"I'll just leave you to think things through"

As she walked away with a skip in her step he sat staring at the sea, all of the bitchy comments she made playing on a loop through his head.

**_The next chapter will have an attempted lemon, so hopefully it will be ok :3_**

**_Refrigerator-burn: You must be psychic, because I probably am going to put something like that in later on XD_**

**_Wolveskey: Forgot to mention last time, but thanks for pointing out how confusing the speech gets :S I didn't notice till then :L_**

**_xoxShika-chanxox: Happy to hear you like it ^^ _**


	25. Chapter 25

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**EDITED**_

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

It was early evening and Shikamaru was getting worried. Hidan had been quiet all day, and kept staring off into space. After they'd gotten back to the beach, and he finished in the shower, he decided he was going to find out what the problem was. Hidan was sitting on the bed, with the same far-off expression on his face.

"Hidan?"

"Hn?"

"Are you... ok?"

"Fine"

"You sure about that?"

"Yes"

_Well that was productive..._

"Right, I've had enough of this"

"W-what do you mean?" _Fuck, he's leaving me for psycho-bitch_

"You've been acting weird all day, what's wrong with you?"

"It's... nothing" _He noticed?_

"I can tell it's not nothing. I've been worrying about you!"

"You have?" You could hear the hope in his voice.

"Of course I have! You're really important to me moron"

That was all he needed to hear. It was such a relief to hear it, that he couldn't help but start tearing up.

"Hidan, are you crying?"

"N-no" Although he knew the slight sobbing noise gave it all away, it was worth a try.

"W-what's wrong? Please just tell me!"

"I thought... I thought you were gonna leave me!"

"Why would you think that?"

"That Tenten bitch"

"What about her?"

"Sh-she said... that you two were meant to be together, and that you were too fucking good for me!"

"... She said what? I am going to kill that spiteful bitch!"

"So you're not going to leave me?"

"Of course not you idiot! I've told you I love you, and you know how insane she is!"

"That's true..."

"Look, just go have a shower and I'll clean up out here, ok?"

"O-ok"

As he shuffled out the room, Shikamaru sat down and seethed. How dare she interfere in his relationship! What was wrong with her? The thing that made him angriest though, was that Hidan was upset by this. The man may have been a moron, but he meant more than anything else to him, and when the other was hurt, he felt it too.

His stomach gave a funny jolt, as he realised how strongly he felt. He had never felt that way about anyone, and it scared him a little. At the same time he knew he trusted Hidan, and knew he would never hurt him...

_So maybe I don't mind if he...? I'm not ready for this though! But there's no one else I trust enough for this... But once I've done it I can't take it back... But..._

Thoughts were reeling through his head at light speed, and it was making him dizzy. He could hear Hidan getting dressed in there and knew he had to make a decision fast.

_This is too fast though... I think? But I do love him... I really do..._

That was it. He knew what he wanted to do. The other man came out of the shower wearing only his trousers and looking even better than usual. Shikamaru couldn't help himself, he just stared.

"What the fuck's wrong with you?" He looked a little worried.

"Hidan... I love you"

"I-I love you too... why are you bringing this shit up though?"

"Because I want you to... It's just I think I'm ready"

"Ready? For what?"

"I think you know"

"... No I don't know"

_That troublesome moron! He gets it whenever it's perfectly innocent, or when he's doing it!_

"You know what I mean really"

"No I don't you're just being fucking awkward!"

"I am telling you, that I trust you, and I want you to... consummate our relationship"

"Eh? You're not making any-" _Oh. Ohhhhh!_

"You get it?" Shikamaru was, by now, bright red and almost regretting bringing it up.

"So you're really fucking ready?"

"Yes! I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it, you troublesome idiot!"

Hidan couldn't even care that he had just been insulted, he just smiled. He pushed Shikamaru down onto the bed and pinned him down.

"No going back from here"

"I know"

"Just making sure~" He kissed him lightly and Shikamaru relaxed, knowing he could trust him.

-Page Break-

"Well that was... interesting..." He was feeling tired and sore but good and he definitely didn't regret it.

"You loved it you dick. Admit it" Hidan was looking pretty smug but then he would be.

"It was ok I guess" Shikamaru had to stifle a laugh at the look of outrage on his face.

"Fuck you! You can sleep on the floor if you're going to be a shithead" He raised an eyebrow at this.

"Surely you should be sleeping on the floor as you're most like a dog" With a swift and well-aimed kick Shikamaru was thrown off the bed and onto the floor.

_Well this is dignified. _Lying naked on the floor with your legs in the air was certainly a good look.

"Ok I'm sorry, can I get back on the bed now?" There was no reply. "Hidan? You can't be asleep so stop your idiocy"

Again there was silence. He started to get back into bed when his face met a pillow travelling at high-speeds. Rubbing his nose he scowled at the motionless figure on the bed.

_Right he's asked for this. _Shikamaru grabbed the covers and pulled them onto the floor. As he pulled the over himself he heard an angry hiss.

"Oi! Give that back!"

"Oh I'm sorry I thought you were asleep"

"Give it back you dick!" He smirked and said nothing.

Hidan glared at him before practically pouncing on him from the bed. It was obviously unexpected and Shikamaru let out a shriek.

"You sounded like such a twat" The loud laugh ringing in his ear was so irritating.

"_Be quiet people are sleeping!" _

"Why the fuck should I care?"

"_... I forgot you were a sociopath" _This was apparently considered a compliment as Hidan pulled him into an embrace and smiled.

"Want to have some more fun? ~" Although it was too dark to see, Shikamaru raised his eyebrow.

"Really?"

"You know you'd love it"

"...Just go to sleep before I punch you"

"... Dick"

_**I heard about a few fanfics being deleted for having lemon's and as they said they would not allow any 'detailed description of physical interaction of a sexual nature' I thought I should probably take out the lemon :S It wasn't particularly impressive but if anyone did want to read it I still have a copy on my computer :3 **_


	26. Chapter 26

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

"You're in a weirdly good mood, what happened to you?" Hidan had come downstairs the next morning feeling like he was floating on air, and it seemed Naruto and Kiba had noticed.

"Nothing~"

"Oh god... you and Shika had sex didn't you? And in the same building as us!" Kiba picked up on it.

"Eh? You guys did it? Congratulations! He needed that I think"

"Yeah and so did I"

On the other side of the room he could see the stupid bitch Tenten with her boyfriend. She looked his way, and he couldn't resist giving her an 'I've done it with Shika and you haven't' vibe. Clearly she picked up on it. If looks could kill he'd be a smouldering pile of ash on the floor.

_Bring it bitch. _He met her stare with one of his own, and eventually she looked away and began fondling Neji.

"What are you looking at?" The other two were staring at him.

"Just looking around..."

"Ok... so, what do you think Kiba should do?"

"Don't ask him!" This sparked Hidan's interest, as if it was something embarrassing, it would be funny.

"Why not?"

"Yeah! I'm not that fucking stupid!"

"If you have to know, I have a crush on Hinata!"

"...And?" He was a little unimpressed at this.

"I don't know how to tell her!"

"Just fucking say it to her!"

"That's exactly what I've been saying!"

"But what if she says no"

"There are lots of other whores around"

"How did you tell Shika? And Naru what about you and Sasuke?"

"Err... Shika told me..."

"Yeah, same with me and Sasuke"

"... You guys are useless! Fuck it, I'm gonna do it" They watched slightly surprised as he stalked off to find Hinata.

"Wow, he was pissy"

"That's the most active he's ever been in that crush"

"Crush?" Shino had come up behind them near silently, causing them both to practically jump out of their seats.

"You weird fucker! Don't just come right up behind us like that!"

"You nearly gave us a heart attack!"

"I'm sorry... and what crush?"

"Dog fucker's confessing to whats-er-name"

"Hinata"

"Yeah, that one" Shino's face dropped slightly.

"Oh"

"What's your problem?"

"No problem"

"Shino... do you like Kiba?" There was barely any change in his expression, but his cheeks looked slightly flushed.

"That's fucking hilarious!"

"Don't be a dick!"

"Dog fucker's weird looking though!"

"So are you! And Shikamaru looks a little weird"

"Don't insult Shika you shithead!" They both stopped when they noticed how miserable Shino looked.

"Oi, it was only a joke"

"Yeah, we both think you'd suit each other!"

"Err, yeah! What blondie said!"

"Thank you, but it could never happen. He likes Hinata, and even if he didn't, he's not into guys"

"Well, you never know"

"Yeah, I never thought I was queer, yet I fucked Shika last night!"

"... Ok a little too much there, but does that make you feel better?"

"A little... thank you"

"No problem" He wandered off, still looking a little forlorn. "Poor Shino"

"Yeah, dog fucker's probably going to get with thingy"

"He's liked her a while"

But when Kiba came back, he looked anything but pleased. He was pale, and looked like he was starting to tear up.

"Well?"

"She turned me down"

"Really? Why?"

"Because she fancies you Naru!"

"... Um, I'm sorry?"

"But you're queer with chicken ass!"

"Obviously she doesn't know..."

"Oh god, this sucks! Everyone's coupling up but me!"

"That's not true!"

"Yeah, creepy glasses fucker, and fatty are both alone"

"And Lee"

"That's true" His voice was a little hopeful.

"Forget the bitch, go queer!"

"What? Just because you're all into it doesn't mean I am!" Kiba looked pretty offended and decided to start drinking early, yet again.

-Page Break-

Shikamaru was alone in the room still going over last night. It felt good to know that they both loved each other equally, and when they'd woken up that morning still naked, it hadn't been as embarrassing as it had been before.

There was only one thing that bothered him. Tenten had tried to ruin his relationship, despite seeming so normal yesterday. It was so spiteful, and it made his blood boil. He knew he couldn't just leave it at that, as with her she wouldn't just give it up. He was happy with his current relationship, and she was not taking over his life again.

With the determination fresh in his mind, he walked out of the room ready to find her and tell her where to go. He didn't have to look far, as she was standing in the hallway, clearly waiting for him.

"There you are! I was wondering where you were when I saw that boyfriend of yours downstairs!"

"Tenten"

"Yeees?~"

"Why the hell did you insinuate to Hidan that we were getting back together?"

"I don't know what you mean" But she had hesitated a moment before answering and he knew that she was lying.

"I think you do. You're interfering in my relationship and it's none of your business"

"I think your boyfriend feels threatened by me, so he's making things up"

"He wouldn't do that"

"Really? Because he doesn't seem very trustworthy. I'd watch him if I were you, now he's got what he wanted, he might find someone else"

"Cut the crap Tenten" He was blushing though.

_How did she know?_

"It's pretty obvious you guys had sex. But seriously guys like that are only after one thing"

"I'd trust him with my life, whilst you are a lying deceitful bitch so I think it's obvious who I'm going to believe. Now I'm going to find Hidan and you will leave both of us alone"

"Wait!" She grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "I still love you! I always have! And I can't bear to see you with him!"

"Tenten, leave it off! I don't like you, I'm happy now!"

"You'd be happier with me"

"You're being selfish as always! You don't care about anyone but yourself"

Instead of replying, she simply threw her arms around him and kissed him. He froze at first unable to believe what she was doing but when his brain caught up, he pushed her off in anger.

"How dare you! Stay the hell away from me!"

"I wonder what your boyfriend would think if he knew you just kissed me"

"_You _kissed _me_"

"He doesn't know though... hmmm maybe we should tell him?"

"I will tell him, and he'll know it was you, you selfish cow! When are you going to get it through your fat head?"

Before she had time to reply he stalked off to his room, slamming the door. At first he was so angry he wanted to punch something, but after a while that anger turned to fear. What if Hidan didn't believe him? The man was known for being overemotional. He didn't want to risk it.

_I won't tell him... he doesn't need to know..._

Tenten meanwhile felt smug. She could do this! She could break them up! Skipping away, neither of them had noticed the third person in the hall.


	27. Chapter 27

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

Hidan noticed there was a problem with Shikamaru the second he got back to the bedroom. For a start, he had a far-off look in his eye. He also didn't seem to notice the other man coming in, despite the fact he'd slammed the door pretty loudly.

"Shika?" He jumped.

"Ah Hidan! When did you get there?"

"Just now" _Screw this bullshit. He's telling me what fucking happened, or I'm beating it out of him. _"Ok, what happened?"

"Nothing" He looked down, avoiding his gaze. _Lying son of a bitch!_

"Don't give me that bullshit! What the fuck happened?"

"...Don't get mad"

"Why? What the fuck did you do?"

"_I _didn't do anything! _Tenten_ kissed _me_!" Shikamaru paled when he realised what he just said. Hidan was seething.

"She fucking what? And you let her?"

"No I didn't! She forced it on me!"

"And you didn't want to fucking tell me? She's fucking girl too! She's weaker than you; you should've thrown the bitch off!"

"I did! I was just in shock ok?"

"No it's not fucking ok"

"Hidan..."

"No! I don't want to fucking hear it. You're leaving me for the bitch aren't you?"

"I could never do that, I love you!"

"It can't be that much if you let that slut touch you"

"I'd believe anything you'd say to me! Yet you don't trust me at all"

"I can see I have a good fucking reason to!"

Hidan slammed the door and stormed down the hall, tears forming whilst Shikamaru buried his head in his hands feeling miserable.

_Oh god, I've really screwed it up._

-Page Break-

Hidan had fled to the garden, where he proceeded to break any plant pot within reaching distance. He wanted to trust him so badly, but after all the things that bitch had said, it had really hurt. And seriously pissed him off.

"Is something wrong?" _It better not be the slut or I'll break her ugly face here and now. _But it was Shino who was staring at him.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I saw you run out here"

"Did anyone else?" If Tenten had seen, she'd probably go back to claim Shikamaru.

"No, only me"

"Thank fuck for that"

"So what is wrong?"

"...I'm fucking scared"

"Of what?"

"I think Shika will leave me for the man-bitch"

"...He won't"

"How the fuck do you know?"

"Because Tenten started it"

"Started what?" A sudden realisation dawned on him. "You saw the bitch kiss him!"

"It was accidental but yes"

"And? What the fuck happened?"

"She tried to get him to leave you, he refused. She then kissed him, and he forced her off and shouted at her. He didn't cheat on you"

_...He doesn't want to fucking leave me! Shit. He might want to now._

"I need to go see him!" As he rushed away, he noticed Shino was still sitting there. "Err, Thanks..."

"It is no problem"

When he walked past the lounge he could see Tenten sitting in between her boyfriend and the weird eyebrow guy, looking overly smug.

_Little bitch. She'll get hers._

Shikamaru was still in the bedroom, and he looked surprised to see him coming back so soon.

"You're back"

"Yeah..."

"I expected you to be gone for longer"

"I saw Shino"

"Shino?"

"He saw the man-bitch kiss you"

"He did?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry, I should've believed you"

"It's ok. It looked like I was trying to hide it from you, so I can see why you were worried"

Hidan felt a little tearful, which was starting to get irritating. Being over-emotional sucked. He simply threw his arms around Shikamaru and cried.

"H-hey! Don't cry"

"I don't want to fucking cry! But I can't help iiiiiiit"

They sat together for a little while, feeling comfortable. They could hear movement downstairs and people talking. At one point, Tenten's high laugh rang out.

"...That fucking bitch"

"I can't stand her"

"I say we kill her, and dump her whore body in the sea"

"That's definitely illegal but I agree with the sentiment"

-Page Break-

When they came downstairs Tenten was still sitting in the same place. When she saw Shikamaru she smiled and gave a little wave.

_Cheeky little bitch! _Instead of being too bothered by it, Hidan simply waltzed over and put his arms around his lover with a smug grin.

Her face dropped so quickly he actually started to laugh, which caused all the people nearby to give him a funny look.

"_What are you laughing at?" _Shikamaru whispered at him.

"_That ugly little bitch of course" _The other looked over, saw the expression on her face and had to stifle his laughter.

"_We really shouldn't be laughing"_

"_She deserves it, the dirty whore"_

"_True..."_

And she continued staring at them for most of the rest of the night, and eventually it got a little too much.

"She's getting freaky now"

"Yeah, I told you she was insane"

"...Let's go upstairs"

"For round two?"

Shikamaru didn't bother trying to answer that, and settled for a quick slap around the back of the head. With a groan Hidan followed him, obviously a little annoyed. When they got to the room, they could still hear the noise of everyone else messing around downstairs.

"Is it just me, or have we spent most of this weekend avoiding everybody else?"

"It's only the stupid bitch! Also we owe the weird fucker... Don't remember his name"

"Shino?"

"Yeah, we should help him get with the dog fucker"

"With Kiba? That's an odd couple"

"He said he liked him when I was with blondie"

"That's surprisingly nice of you"

"Besides, it would be fucking hilarious to make the dog fucker queer, after all the shit he gives us"

"... Ok, now I get why"

"...What the fuck are we going to do anyway?"

"You mean now?"

"Yeah... There's only one thing I can think of, but you're a frigid bitch so..."

"You have such a one track mind"

_Still... it doesn't sound too bad..._

"Hidan?"

"Yes fuckface?"

"Firstly, that nickname is really annoying"

"Don't give a fuck~"

"Secondly... I think I quite like your idea..."

"... Fuck yes!"

-Page Break-

It was while they were both lying in bed feeling very satisfied that Naruto, being a moron, decided to come dashing in without knocking.

"Hey guys! You are not going to-" When he realised that they were both naked he stopped. "Are you guys having sex?"

"Luckily for you we'd just finished"

"Because I would've ripped your fucking balls off if we were"

"Thanks for that... Anyway I've got shocking news!"

"Choji got off with Ino?" Shikamaru was hoping for that one.

"Dog fucker got laid?"

"No! Tenten and Neji have split up!"

"Eh?"

"I'm guessing he found out she was a man and fucking ran for it!"

"Apparently she broke it off, not sure why... And I'm gonna let you guys just get on with what you were doing..." When he left the room, they were both silent.

"Do you think it's got anything to do with us?"

"She better fucking stay away"

"I hope she will"

**_My internet's been going down recently so took a while to upload this chapter :L And sorry for any crappyness, have only just sorted the work problem _**


	28. Chapter 28

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

They hadn't seen Tenten after that, and even when they were packing up to leave there was no sign of her. Every now and then Shikamaru saw Neji giving him a hateful glare, but other than that everything was normal.

"It looks like she's cleared off"

"Good. Fucking bitch"

By the time they got home with no problems, they finally started to relax. There was no way she could bother them at home, and no matter what she did, they weren't going to listen to her.

"You're finally home!" Sadly they had forgotten about the other annoying woman in their lives. The one that had currently glomped both of them making it difficult to breath.

"Calm down you troublesome woman!"

"But I'm so pleased to see you home~" She gave them a wide smile.

"I think I'm gonna throw up" Hidan still looked a little queasy from the car journey, and being squeezed really hadn't helped.

"Bathroom. Now" He dashed up the stairs.

"What's wrong?"

"Car sickness. Anyway where's dad?"

"He's had to go back to work"

"Oh..." He was a little disappointed as he'd wanted to spend more time with his father.

"Don't worry honey; it's not going to be the same as usual"

"How do you mean?"

"He's talked to his boss and he's going to get a transfer, so he can work from home from now on!"

Shikamaru felt pretty good about that. They barely got to see Shikaku most of the time, and although she never said anything, his mother was always a little put out.

"Now enough about our news, what about you?" He didn't like where this was going.

"What news?"

"Did you fully consummate your relationship?"

"I'm not talking about that with my mother!" Although the shade of his face was really giving it all away.

"Awww, I'm so happy for you! I'll go make a cake to celebrate!" As she skipped off to the kitchen, Hidan walked slowly down the stairs groaning.

"My head really fucking hurts"

"Just drink something, you'll be fine"

"Get me something then"

"You're really pushing your luck"

"You love it" As he would probably bother him until he got his own way Shikamaru decided to just do what he wanted. It'd involve a lot less effort that way. Sadly his mother had other ideas.

"Ah Shika! Just the person I wanted to see" _And so it begins._

"What do you want?" There was no point in messing around.

"Why do you always assume I want something? I may just be happy to see you!"

"Ok then, I'll be off" He turned to leave, but was pulled back by her.

"Fine I do want something... could you go down to the shop and get me some eggs?"

"Right now?"

"I wanted to make a celebratory cake, but we're out of eggs" Then she bought out the puppy dog eyes. It took only a few seconds for him to cave.

"I'll go"

"Thanks honey I really appreciate it~"

Hidan had miraculously moved from the hall to the sofa where he looked half dead. When Shikamaru walked over there was absolutely no movement.

"I'll be back in a second, I'm just going to the shop" That caused a reaction.

"You're going where?" He shot up so fast his head started spinning.

"Just to the shop, I won't be that long"

"I'm coming too!" And with that announcement he pulled himself to his feet, staggering slightly as he did.

"You look pretty ill so you'd be better off staying here"

"I'm not letting you go on your own! There are lots of bitches and whores out there!"

"If you insist"

-Page Break-

It probably would've solved a lot of problems if he'd just walked out on his own, instead of bothering to tell Hidan. He'd spent most of the way complaining, and trying not to throw up.

"You didn't have to come you know"

"Just shut up"

It took them a long time to finally get to the shop and by the time they got there Hidan decided to take up residence on the bench outside, leaving Shikamaru to deal with everything. As he lay staring up at the stars pondering on how nice it looked, he could hear footsteps coming towards him.

_That better be Shika or I'll be pissed. _Sadly it was the last person he wanted to see at that moment, who was wearing a rather sinister smile.

"What the fuck do you want?" Tenten's grin widened.

"I came to say goodbye~"

"Why are you offing yourself? Can I watch?" A little harsh, but she had it coming.

"No silly! I'm offing you~"

"Eh?" _Is this bitch serious?_

"As long as you're here I can't be with my Shika. And so I have come to fix it" She was also holding a nicely sized kitchen knife.

_...She is serious... heheh stupid fucking bitch_

"Tenten? What the hell are you doing?" It was then that Shikamaru decided to come out. He took one look at Tenten and her knife and instantly went to go towards her. "Put the knife down!"

"Don't worry Shika I'm doing this for you. Once that thing is out of the way, we can be together" The smug grin on her face was sickening.

"But if you kill hi-" ... _Ah. That is a problem. _"Err... that's not a very good idea"

"I may go to prison but I know you'll wait for me~"

"That's not why I'm worried..." _This cannot end well... _

Hidan looked unbothered, and also slightly amused. Tenten didn't seem to notice this fact and simply walked over with a maniacal grin plastered on her face. As she raised the knife Shikamaru covered his eyes and hoped this would end better than he was imagining it.

The knife plunged into his ribcage, blood pouring down his chest and pooling on the floor. It was a sickening sight, and the metallic smell filled the street. Tenten turned to him with a scarily happy grin on her face.

"Now we can finall-"

"Owwwww! That really fucking hurt you stupid bitch!" She froze and turned, unable to quite believe what she was hearing.

Hidan was not only still alive; he was also looking at the knife wound as if it was a small splinter. She stood there, her mouth opening and closing like a fish. Shikamaru was torn between groaning at the idiocy and laughing at her reaction. It was obvious what Hidan's was.

"What's wrong with your face? You look fucking stupid!" He laughed so hard, he made a slight gurgling noise as blood filled his lungs. "Shit! Need to take the fucker out" When the knife finally came out was when she found her voice again.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? I STABBED YOU! YOU SHOULD BE DEAD!"

"You don't have to fucking yell! And I'm immortal, this shit doesn't bother me"

"Im-immortal?"

"Yeah look" And with that he plunged the knife into his stomach and twisted it, letting out a slight moan.

It took about three seconds. First she paled, then she started to scream, and then Tenten ran as fast as she could possibly go.

"Oi! I was fucking talking here! And don't you want your knife back?" It was the last comment that finally finished off Shikamaru. He started laughing so hard, tears began streaming down his cheeks.

"Oh god... that knife comment!"

"It was fucking awesome wasn't it?" Hidan chuckled to himself. "We'll never see that stupid whore again either"

"That just makes it even better"


	29. Chapter 29

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

It had been Naruto who'd told them the wonderful news the next day.

"Have you guys heard about Tenten?" No hello or good morning when he phones you, it's just straight to the point.

"What about her?" Hidan was lazily playing with Shikamaru's hair, whilst they were sitting in the bed.

"Apparently her parents had to have her sectioned last night! She came home covered in blood and muttering something about immortal bastards that wouldn't die..."

"That's... interesting" _Oh god don't laugh._

"She was pretty hysterical, so they had to drag her out kicking and screaming. Gaara told me"

"How did Gaara find out?"

"He lives up the road from her. She had the whole street out watching apparently"

"Wow, poor her"

"Yeah but it's been coming for a long time"

"Too true... and I am going now, because the moron is starting to get bored" When Hidan starts poking your spine, it's best to start paying attention to him.

"What did blondie want?"

"He had good news"

"What?"

"Tenten was sectioned last night"

"What the fuck does sectioned mean?"

"It means they put her in the loony bin" Hidan was silent for only a second before he started laughing.

"The stupid slut got what was coming to her! That's fucking brilliant!"

-Page Break-

It was while Hidan was lounging happily on the sofa that Yoshino decided to ask a very important question.

"Sooo... what are you two doing for your one month anniversary?" He hadn't heard her coming so almost fell on the floor.

"Don't sneak up on me! And what the fuck is that?"

"You know, you've been together for a month so you should be celebrating"

"... Do you think he wants something?"

"I couldn't really say, but he seems the type"

"What the fuck am I supposed to do?"

"Why don't you make him something?" This was met with a blank stare.

"There's nothing I'm good at though" _Except maybe pissing him off..._

"I could help you?" This was met with a suspicious stare. "Really we could do something. How about cooking?"

"I can't do that shit"

"It's ok honey, I'll help you" It was worrying, but it was his best option at the time so he would go with it.

-Page Break-

All Shikamaru was trying to do was go to the toilet. But the second he opened the bedroom door Hidan stormed up the stairs and forced him back in.

"What are you doing?"

"You have to stay here! You can't go anywhere else or I'll end you!"

"Can I at least go to the toilet? And how long is this supposed to last?"

"Until I say you can fucking leave! And as long as you stay up here!"

"Ok just calm down!" As the older fool stalked off, Shikamaru felt bemused.

_What is that idiot doing? _It was too troublesome to question what the idiot wanted, so he just left him to it.

-Page Break-

"Any idea on what you want to do?" There was a worried look on his face.

"... I don't know anything about this shit"

"Let's make it something simple then... how about a pie?"

"Pie?"

"It's not too difficult, and I think he likes apple pie so that's easy enough"

"But how do you make the cover bit?"

"We can cheat a little there and use the pre-made pastry"

"...Ok" Even the word pastry sounded foreign to him, but Yoshino seemed to know what was going on.

It seemed even then he was having trouble. He kept slipping and cutting himself, although there were a few times he had more than a simple cut and he had to hold his finger up against his hand so it could reattach before she noticed.

The main problem was that he tended to bleed a lot more than normal people, and though he could hide the actual cuts there was no hiding the pool of blood.

"Oh my god Hidan! Are you ok? Did you hurt yourself?"

"Err... I slipped"

"Well where's the cut?"

"It's healed"

"...That quick?" He just nodded. There was no way he was explaining that shit to her. "Ok... Well that's lucky"

It took a while but they managed to make something vaguely resembling a pie into the oven.

"There that wasn't too bad!"

"Yeah..." Maybe it was best not to mention all the times he'd severed a finger. Or all the blood that may have been soaked up by the apples...

_Fuck it, it'll add something. And if he doesn't like it he's a dick._

-Page Break-

"Oi fuckface" Shikamaru looked up from his book to see Hidan peering out from behind the door. "You can go downstairs now"

"Thanks for that. What exactly were you doing anyway?"

"Nothing..."

_I'll find out in a moment I guess. _ The first thing he noticed was a slight burning smell when he reached the bottom of the stairs. _Oh god I hope he hasn't set the house on fire._

"Hidan have you been burning things down here?"

"No! I've been... making shit"

"Making what?"

"..."

"Ok you don't want to say. I guess I'll find out"

He noticed what it was straight away. In the middle of the table was what appeared to be a pie. Appeared to be because although the shape was right, it was almost black in colour.

"...Did you make this?" Hidan looked down blushing pretty hard. It appeared even he could be cute sometimes.

"I know it looks like shit but your mum said you'd like something for a one month anniversary or some other crap like that"

"One month? Really? It doesn't feel that long" It looked pretty odd, but clearly he'd put the effort in. "So you did it completely on your own?"

"Your mum helped but she fucked off and I forgot to take it out..."

"... I prefer it burnt anyway" If he'd tried so hard he better attempt to eat it.

The crunchiness and burnt taste wasn't too bad. It was when he noticed a bit of a metallic taste that he thought he should mention something.

"Err Hidan?"

"Yeah?" _Fuck I missed a bit of finger._

"It tastes a bit... metallic. Why?" _Ah._

"Umm... I kinda cut my finger off a couple of times" Shikamaru stared at him.

"You cut off your finger?" He quickly grabbed the others hand to check for missing digits.

"It stuck back on, but there was so much fucking blood"

"... So you made me a blood and apple pie?"

"I know I fucking suck! Just shut up!"

"It tastes great really!" For that he received a sceptical look and a raised eyebrow.

"Really?"

"Yeah It's... really nice..."

"But?"

"The blood is probably a little dangerous" Hidan looked put out. "I really like it though so thank you!" The older boy smiled and draped himself over Shikamaru's shoulders.

"...Shika?"

"Yeah?"

"Do I get something?"

"... To be honest I wasn't thinking about it"

"I wouldn't be if the nosy bitch hadn't mentioned it"

"Any requests?" Hidan knew this was a good chance to get something good out of this. "Just tell me when you figure it out and we'll do something ok?"

"Fuck yes!"

_**Having Tenten sectioned was probably a little harsh but if someone came home hysterical and covered in blood I think you would do :S And I thought they could do with a little fluff :3 **_


	30. Chapter 30

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

"I'm not sure that this is a good idea

"Why the fuck not?"

"Well... it's meddling" The last comment was ignored and Hidan carried on dragging Shikamaru down the road.

It had been Naruto's idea and although he hadn't wanted to get involved, his pushy boyfriend clearly had other ideas. For some reason they were insistent on setting up Kiba and Shino and nothing he said was going to change their minds.

"But why am I involved?"

"Because Blondie's dick of a boyfriend is going!"

"Sasuke is coming too?" Clearly their blonde friend was very persuasive. "What exactly are we doing with this though?"

"Trying to make dog fucker realise he's really a flaming queer and that he loves glasses"

"...But how?"

"How the fuck would I know? Blondie just said to show up" With a long suffering sigh Shikamaru simply allowed himself to be dragged along.

_At least I don't have to do anything. The troublesome fools can sort themselves out. _

The other two had already arrived when they got there and Sasuke looked just as annoyed at being there as he did.

"Thanks for helping with this Shika I appreciate it" At least Naruto appreciated the effort.

"What exactly are we doing though?"

"We're going to get Shino to confess!"

"And then dog fucker can get laid and stop being such an asshole"

"It didn't work for you though" Sasuke had the smug grin wiped off of his face when it was hit by a speeding projectile, also known as a can.

"Hey! Don't break his face! It's his best feature

"Because his dick is so fucking small"

"Just stop being a wind-up merchant" At this everyone stared at Shikamaru.

"A what?"

"Someone who takes the piss to get a reaction

"So a troll then?" Even Sasuke looked bemused.

"Where do you hear these things?

"You are such an old man it's creepy" For that his boyfriend received a scowl.

"It was something my mother used to say! Now can we talk about something else?"

They were distracted from the conversation when Shino suddenly appeared. It was so quiet that Hidan yelped and jumped back.

"Massive over reaction there... And hi Shino" The boy nodded at Shikamaru, whilst Hidan gripped him and glared.

"What are we doing?

"We're just waiting for Kiba and then we'll be going for a nice walk Everyone stared at Naruto.

"That sounded fucking stupid

"Kiba?" It seemed that their quiet friend was quite quick on the uptake and had realised everyone else was a couple. "What are you all trying to do?"

"Nothing at all" Sasuke answered before either his or Shikamaru's moronic boyfriend ruined things. Shino looked suspicious and was about to question them further when Kiba suddenly showed up.

"Hey twats!

"Hey dog fucker

"Shika why the hell does he keep calling me that? He's more like a fucking dog!"

"Maybe it has something to do with all your dogs

"But he didn't know I had dogs!" This was true and they all turned to stare at Hidan.

"Because you smell like a fucking dog

"... That makes sense..." He wasn't going to ask how the fool guessed this.

"Will you all just shut up and get going" Sasuke just wanted to get some groping time with Naruto so was rushing the many fools around him. Hidan was clearly of the same mentality as he began dragging his lover along ahead of the others.

"_How are we supposed to be setting them up if we're far away from them?" _

"_If we all start doing couply shit they might start doing it too!"_

"_Really? You sure you're not just doing this for the hell of it?" _Hidan just looked away as if he was really interested in that random wrapper on the floor.

_Troublesome idiot. _Looking back he could see Naruto and Sasuke were enjoying themselves. Well the Uchiha was at least... The other boy looked a little violated.

At the back of the group walked Shino and Kiba. The brunette was simply talking loudly and pointing at random things clearly oblivious to what was going on. The quieter boy did seem to know and looked a little awkward. It took a long time for the other to notice but eventually he did.

"Hey what's wrong with you?

"I have no idea what you mean

"No offence but you sound a little like a robot there" Shino simply gave him a blank stare.

"Robot?" Kiba couldn't help but laugh.

"That's exactly what I mean! You really need to loosen up a little

"... I see" Most people would find it awkward being around someone as stoic as Shino but Kiba didn't care too much. They'd been friends long enough to get used to each other.

"Tch look at those guys" He looked where the other was pointing at the rest of their friends. "Everybody seems to be in a damn couple!"

"They seem happy

"I know! I mean I love them, but I wish one of them could stay single"

"I'm still single" It appeared he hadn't thought of that.

"Well thank god for you Shino. Make sure you don't get a girlfriend anytime soon"

"... That won't be a problem

"Great!" Shino's heart gave a funny jolt. "We can stick together away from all the stupid couples"

"Yeah I'd like that" It wasn't exactly a confession of love but it was an encouraging sign from someone who only the other day had been infatuated with Hinata.

Hidan stared at them and noticed with distaste that they were still not doing anything.

"Those two are so fucking slow!

"They won't just jump on each other these things take time

"But it's so fucking boring!

"Just get over it" If Hidan wanted to be a prat it was his business.

-Page Break-

It had been at least three hours and Shino was considering making a move. Hidan and Naruto had both been sending him looks and gestures (in Hidan's case rude ones) all day. He'd managed to get them a short distance away from the others without Kiba noticing and decided now was a good time.

"Kiba?" The other looked at him.

"You ok there?"

"Yes I am, I just needed to tell you something" The other boy watched curiously and slightly worriedly. "I think that I am in love with you"

"Eh? Eh?" For once in his life the other boy was at a loss for words.

"I think about you a lot, I find you attractive, and the thought of you touching anyone else makes me feel ill" Silence met this strange announcement.

"Err... It's not that I don't like you but... I don't think I'm into guys!" Though the bright red colour on his face suggested otherwise.

"That's no problem"

"It isn't?" Shino kissed him before pulling him into an embrace.

"I will just keep doing this until you change your mind

"Why did you do that? At least warn me you asshole!" He had to admit that he wasn't completely against the idea.

"I'm sorry... so?"

"So?"

"What is your reply?

"Well... I guess we could maybe try that last thing a few times... J-just to make sure!" Shino smiled one of his rare small smiles.

"I think I like that idea

_**This chapter took a little longer than usual as went to MCM Expo last weekend so was pretty busy :3 The Kiba Shino relationship was a little rushed but that's because I'm mainly focusing on the HidaShika but love that pairing so wanted to put it in there **_

_**Refrigerator-Burn: The pie thing was from my friend saying he thought it would be funny if Hidan tried cooking something :L And I like apple pie so that's how that came about XD **_


	31. Chapter 31

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

"I know what I want~" Shikamaru looked up from his book at his eager looking boyfriend who had bounded into the room.

"That's nice to know. What context is this in?" Hidan gave him an irritated look.

"You said I could have anything I wanted for the pie"

"Ah! You're right there... What was it you wanted?" Though knowing the foolish one it would be something perverted, and sure enough he didn't disappoint.

"I want you to have a bath with me" Silence followed this proclamation.

"A what?"

"Y'know, a bath?"

"I know what a bath is, I'm just wondering why you want me to join you" Although it was pretty obvious.

"Why do you think?" You could tell Hidan was on his best behaviour as he was trying desperately not to swear.

Shikamaru was in two minds about this. On the one hand it was awkward to do that kind of thing in his parent's house, and if they noticed it would be weird for everyone. But on the other hand he had said he would do anything, and besides he wasn't completely opposed to the idea.

"Fine"

"Fuck yes!"

-Page Break-

It is very difficult to undress, thought Shikamaru, when you're being stared at like a piece of meat by a naked pervert.

"Do you think you could look away for at least a minute?"

"No" Hidan gave a childlike pout that was both cute and irritating.

He was sitting in the bath eagerly awaiting his boyfriend. Though he couldn't deny the view was pretty nice he was starting to get a little impatient and wished Shikamaru would just shift his ass and get in there already.

"Just finish already or I'll come over there and take them off for you!" For that he received a glare, but he took his advice and slipped off the last of his clothes.

Shikamaru had barely put his foot in the water when Hidan reached up and dragged him down causing water to slosh out of the side all over the floor.

"Stop making a mess! We all know it'll be me cleaning it up"

"Hn" Instead of bothering to reply he pulled him close giving a happy little hum.

_Such a moron... _He didn't pull off though and lay back into his lover's arms with a contented sigh. It was so relaxing to have a bath every now and then.

"...Is this it?" He opened one eye and looked up into a pair of irritated magenta eyes.

"What?" _Why is he never satisfied?_

"Aren't you at least going to do something instead of sitting there doing fuck all?" Shikamaru returned the scowl.

"What do you want?"

"I don't know! Something"

_No peace in this house. _ Deciding it was better to resign himself to his fate he sat up at eye level with the other boy.

"...Do you want me to... wash your back?" _That was weird._

"Why the back?"

"It's just what people normally say in these kinds of situations"

"I don't give a fuck just do something!"

_Oh god. _There wasn't much else for him to do so he started doing as he'd originally suggested and washing his boyfriend's back. This seemed to be good enough as he stopped his moaning and relaxed. _If it can make him shut up I'll keep doing it._

Hidan was practically purring as he leant forwards and buried his face into Shikamaru's chest. He blushed but continued to run his hands over his lover's body. For a while there was no movement until he felt large arms pull his body close and small kisses over his chest.

"W-what're you doing?" It came out more like a yelp and he felt like a girl.

"You love it"

"Maybe I do but my mother is downstairs!"

"She doesn't give a fuck. Come oonnn Shikaaa" With the whining starting up there was only one answer he could give.

"Ok just don't be too loud"

-Page Break-

"Have a nice bath?" Shikaku didn't even look up from his newspaper when he entered the room.

"I didn't know you were home dad... and yeah I did thanks"

"You were certainly in there a long time"

"They are very relaxing..." _This conversation feels really weird for some reason._

For a while there was only silence and Shikamaru realised how little time he really did spend with his father. It was nice to think that their family would be together longer than just a few days for a change.

"-_daaan~" _He was bought back to earth when he heard his father say something.

"What was that?" His dad looked at him with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"_Hidaaan~" _Shikamaru paled when he figured out exactly what was going on.

"You heard?" _Oh God this is so embarrassing._

"Hard not to hear Shika, you were yelling pretty loudly" The boy stood and started walking out of the room. "Where are you going?"

"Nowhere special, just going to hide in my room for the rest of time"

"Don't worry about it Shika this stuff happens all the time"

"Couldn't you at least have pretended that you didn't hear?"

"Where's the fun in that?" For that he received an irritated scowl that made him chuckle.

Shikamaru decided to leave the useless old man alone with his idiocy and stalked off up the stairs. Hidan being the lazy fool that he was, had sprawled himself out on the bed and he was completely dead to the world.

_...Why is it always me dealing with morons?_

"It's barely afternoon idiot wake up" There was no reply.

_Wonderful._ There was no space for him to sit down so he satisfied himself by lying down over him and using his stomach as a pillow.

"What the fuck are you doing?" That was what he assumed he was saying anyway as it was more slurred that anything.

"You're taking up the bed. And I had to come up here to get away from dad"

"Why?"

"Because he heard certain... things"

"Heh"

"Not funny, awkward. Now move up" There was only a grunt in reply and he found himself getting kicked off the bed once again. "Why are you always doing that?"

"Because it's funny"

"For you maybe" Clearly Hidan was too tired to reason with.

_Although he's impossible to reason with anyway... _Shikamaru decided that he'd just make the most of things and settled down in the corner with a good book.

"...Shika?" Clearly more than five minutes without attention was too much.

_Just ignore it and it will go away._

"Fuckface!" _...Moron. _

He could sense that Hidan was scowling at him but that was his problem.

_If that dick thinks he can ignore me he's going to get it! _

"Hey! Don't lick my face idiot!"

"Well stop ignoring me you twat!"

_**Have had a bit of writer's block recently so not been writing much :L I really like this story though so will keep at it :3 **_

_**Refrigerator-Burn: No I haven't is it good? **_


	32. Chapter 32

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine. **_

Something seemed very wrong. It was hard to figure out when you're half asleep and not a hundred percent sure where you are. Hidan lifted his head and looked around the room with half lidded eyes. He was still in bed which was normal but the main difference was that Shikamaru wasn't there. With a start he jumped up and looked around for the lazy lump that was his boyfriend.

After seeing no sign of him in either the bedroom or the toilet he charged full speed down the stairs almost tripping on the shoes as he went. Shikaku was rested in the sofa reading his newspaper and he looked up with a slightly amused look on his face.

"You're strangely active for a morning. What's wrong with you?"

"Where's Shika?" _It better be good or I'm killing him when he gets back._

"Only that? He's gone to the supermarket with Yoshino, they shouldn't be long"

"Oh" _Why didn't the bastard tell me? I've got fuck all to do!_

With a sulky look on his face he slumped on the sofa, practically pouting. Shikaku had to suppress a snigger at this.

"What are you laughing at?"

"You're pouting like a toddler"

"Go to hell you dick!" That just increased the sniggering. "What?"

"You are hilarious! I can see why Shika likes you"

"... Thanks?" _Smartass. _Although Hidan had to admit he was not as high strung as Shikamaru. Much more fun too. "Oi, old Shika?"

"Need something?"

"... Want to get shitfaced?" The other man stared.

"At this time of the morning?"

"Don't be a pussy"

"On the contrary I like your thinking"

-Page Break-

"What the fuck is he wearing? He looks like a twat!" Hidan couldn't stop laughing at the picture of six year old Shikamaru wearing a kilt with a large scowl on his face.

"His mother insisted and you know how she gets..." They both grimaced at this.

"You're a brave man although you're also a bit of a dick sometimes"

"The same to you" There were few things better than lying back on the sofa surrounded by beer cans and looking through old pictures of Shika. Especially the ones of him practically in drag. The fun was slightly ruined when the other two returned and saw them drunk off their faces and dying with laughter over the compulsory baby bath photo.

"What the hell are you doing?" The enjoyment increased when Shikamaru realised what photo they were looking at and turned bright red. "I thought I told you not to show people those!"

"But you look so cuuute" A scowl.

"And why is he drunk again?"

"Because he's fun. Well done Shika for choosing such a wonderful son in law"

"I'll always get pissed with you!"

"Oh god. Mum! They're getting drunk in the lounge again!" Yoshino hurried in and looked with amusement at the number of empty cans on the floor.

"It's impressive that they've had so much beer when we were barely gone two hours" Then she noticed the photo album. "Oh! Have you shown Hidan the one with the clown?"

"Ah no I haven't"

"That sounds fucking brilliant!"

"Please don't!" But his pleas went unheard.

"It's so cute~ He was terrified of this clown and he started crying"

"I wanna see that!" _Oh lord. _Instead of staying to witness the humiliating photos Shikamaru escaped to his bedroom where he could avoid the pack of jackals in the living room.

It took Hidan a while to notice he was gone mainly because his brain, slow at the best of times, was moving at a snail's pace due to all the booze. When he did finally realise he stumbled up the stairs to find the missing one.

"Why'd you leave?"

"Because you're all embarrassing me!"

"But I like them! I'd give you one of me if I could"

"I guess that's good to know... What did you look like when you were younger?"

"Ehh? How would I know" He then threw himself onto the bed and started prodding Shikamaru's side and giggling.

"Why were you drinking so early? It's barely midday"

"Because" Hidan lay on his back and stared up at him. "Hey Shikaaaa?"

"What?"

"Love yooouuu"

"Love you too"

"... I'm cold"

"It'd be warmer if you at least out some trousers on"

"Might be..."

"I'm having trouble believing quite how old you are"

"I'm 600!"

"I guess technically speaking you are pretty old... Don't look it though"

"We're fucking awesome together! I'm really old and you act really old!"

"You really know what to say... Hey! Don't just fall asleep!" The way he'd just suddenly fallen asleep was similar to a child. He'd literally crashed where he sat. "Idiot"

Curled up Hidan looked like a cat and his face had a small smile on it. Well it was normally him that got bothered and picked while he was trying to sleep so he may as well have fun with this.

_What does he normally do? Oh yes, the poking. _Shikamaru raised his hand and commenced the war. At first it was only light and the sleeping fool barely twitched but as he prodded harder his hand started moving up to try and swat the strange insect attacking him. With a groan he opened his eyes and scowled up.

"What'cha doin'?"

"You must be tired if you can barely form words"

"Shurrup" Instead of trying to go back to sleep he dragged himself over to Shikamaru and rested his head on his lap. "Nnnnn"

"Don't fall asleep"

"Hn?"

"Because I won't be able to move without you moaning" More mumbling. "Do what you want"

"Night"

-Page Break-

Shikamaru realised he'd fallen asleep when Yoshino came in and started gushing over the cuteness and how happy she was for them.

"Don't shriek like that I've only just woken up" _It's always one of them bothering me. _Hidan heard the shouting and jumped up smacking the top of his head into Shikamaru's chin.

"Argh!"

"Fuck! That really hurt you knob!"

"You were the one who decided to sleep there!"

"It's still your fault!"

"...I'm not even going to try and understand your crazy logic"

For that he received a middle finger before Hidan lay back down and tried to resume sleeping. Of course he was pushed off.

"Why the fuck did you do that?"

"You are not sleeping there again! I have things to do"

Instead of trying to think up an argument he just grabbed the smaller boy by the arm and pulled him over, gripping him tightly in his arms.

"Hey!"

"Stay here you asshole"

"You really are like a kid"

"Screw you!" It was easier not to fight though.

"Fine I'll stay here, just stop crushing me with your wide bulk"

He really deserved that hard slap.


	33. Chapter 33

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.**_

"Where'd you get that?" Shikamaru thought he'd hidden the photo well but obviously not well enough.

"I found it~" He lunged and tried to grab it but Hidan was faster and managed to leap over the bed before he could get there.

"Just give it back its embarrassing!"

"But you look so cute~ I wanna keep it"

"I'm not letting you!" Though there wasn't much he could do about it while he was being sat on. "...Please get off"

"No" There was a look of satisfaction on his face as he dangled the dreaded kilt picture just out of reach.

"Why do you like it so much? It's just a stupid photo"

"Because you look so pissed off. It's exactly the same as you are now" When he held it up for comparison the facial expression was pretty much identical.

"Fine you can keep it if you love it so much. Just never show it to anybody else"

"Yeah yeah. It's all mine anyway" After heaving himself up Shikamaru gazed at the photo over his shoulder. He was about seven in that photo.

"I think that was around the first time I'd heard about you"

"Eh? How'd that happen?"

"My mum used to tell me a fairy tale every night about you... It was my favourite one"

"What was it like?"

"You want to hear it?"

"If people have been saying shit about me for years I want to know"

"Err... ok" _How the hell do I do this without offending him? _"Well, there once was a land known as the land of Hot Water-"

"When does the bit about me start?"

"It comes up a bit later"

"Well skip to that bit"

"I've only done the first line and you're in most of it!" There was silence so he continued. "Anyway the good rulers of the kingdom both passed away leaving it to their only son. But though they had been kind and fair, their son was selfish and cruel-"

"Hey! That's a load of bullshit!"

"That's just what I've been told"

"But you're saying it like I'm a dick!"

"You should've treated people better, and then they would never have said those things about you"

"Fuck yo-"

"Please just let me finish before you add your commentary" Hidan stopped but was still giving him an irritated scowl. "Anyway, as the prince had been born immortal he didn't care about life and often had people executed for nothing and feasted while people starved on the streets"

"I didn't do it for nothing! They pissed me off!"

"How?"

"One of the useless fuckers gave me chicken when I asked for ribs! He got what was coming to him"

"... You disgust me"

"What?"

"Nothing... So carrying on with the story, one day a group of travellers from a nearby kingdom found their way into the capital of Yugakure. They were all disgusted by the lack of food and the way people were dying on the streets"

"There weren't that many! And most of them were too lazy to get a proper job and buy some food"

"Whatever you say... So the travellers made their way to the palace and demanded that the prince changed his selfish ways. He simply taunted them as he could not be killed. There was nothing they could do. Then the tallest of the travellers, a masked man stepped forward-"

"The masked fucker!"

"You remember him well I'm guessing"

"He's the bastard who fucked me over! And he had one of those faces that look like asshole faces"

"Asshole faces?"

"Yeah he had weird eyes and was always doing that stupid glare. And he kept calling me 'moron' and 'useless' and it seriously pissed me off!"

"That's fair enough I guess... can I continue the story?"

"Tch fine"

"Anyway, unknown to the prince the masked man was a powerful wizard"

"Well I know that now"

"I bet you do. So the masked man stepped forward and raised his arms cursing the prince. He would fall into a dreamless sleep until he was kissed by his true love-"

"That sounds gay"

"You _are_ gay"

"I'm Shika-sexual"

"Good for you" Luckily Hidan didn't seem to be in a raping mood today so he carried on. "The people of the Land of Hot Water celebrated, glad to be free"

_Ah! I shouldn't have added that part..._

"They celebrated? Those dicks!" At least he looked more angry than upset.

"Well you did kill people and have them living in poverty"

"I'm still pissed off! They can go fuck themselves for all I care"

"There is a little bit more of the story that I can add on if you like?"

"... Let me guess, the masked fucker becomes king, everyone else is happy, and no one gives a fuck that I'm gone"

"The prince was left in a beautiful clearing in a forest filled with deer. After hundreds of years a group of drunken teenagers stumbled in and found this clearing. One of the boys was forced by the others to have a look at the 'coffin' to see if it had a zombie in it"

"Who was that?"

"You'll find out in a minute. The boy was annoyed because that was just too troublesome, but as it was his fault they were there he had no choice. When he came to this 'coffin' he had the shock of his life when he saw a very weird looking boy sleeping in there-"

"I'm not weird looking!"

"You have silver hair and purple eyes. That wouldn't be considered normal"

"Dick"

"When the boy went to turn back to his friends he stumbled on a branch on the floor and ended up falling on the sleeping boy. This was made more awkward when the boy woke up and started swearing at him"

"You fell on me?"

"Yeah..."

"So it was an accident?"

"Let me finish! So when the boy had finished swearing he went home with the other boy who was forced out of his room, insulted, hit a few times, as well as kissed by the crazy drunk one, and scared by his strange fujoshi mother"

"You forgot the fucking!"

"Yes there was also that"

"And what's the end?"

"The end? Well it's still happening so you can't really say there's an ending"

"That's true..."

"I'm sure it will be a good one though. Speaking of ends, I'll be going back to school soon"

"School?"

"Where you learn things"

"I'm not backwards I know what that shit is. Why do you have to go though?"

"Because I want to get a good job one day"

"Well what am I gonna do while you're off all day?"

"You'll be fine. You and mum can sit around talking about my birthmarks or looking through my baby photos"

"...That's true!" Shikamaru was not pleased about the look on his face. There was an evil glint in his eye. "When do you go back?"

_...Well at least he's not depressed._


	34. Chapter 34

**Sleeping Jashinist**

_**Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine**_

"Shika! Get up honey it's time to get ready!"

"Nnn" With a groan Shikamaru pulled himself up and glanced at the clock. Sadly it was half seven.

_So it begins again. Just another school day, a whole year of them and after a few of these there will be troublesome uni days. And to add to that troublesome jobs. _Somehow staying in bed seemed much more attractive.

One of the things he hated was the effort needed. Although maybe he could sleep in Asuma's class. He was quite laid back about that kind of thing as long as your grades looked good.

Everything seemed just as troublesome as it was at the start of the holidays but he had to admit, he was a lot happier. Acquiring a boyfriend was the last thing he thought would happen though. Hidan was still lounging in the bed looking practically angelic whilst he slept.

_If only he was like that whilst awake. _With a sleepy stretch he pulled himself off the bed, only to be yanked back seconds later. He was used to it though.

"You could just tell me to stay there a minute"

"Effort"

"You're so talkative in the morning"

"Where you goin'?"

"Getting ready for school" Hidan jolted up.

"That's today?"

"I did tell you the other day"

"...Can I come with you?"

"You're too old"

"Not actually to school you twat! Just... walk there"

"Oh... that's not a problem" It was going to be weird having no crazy immortals bothering him all day. The only problem with having Hidan come was that he always took too long getting ready. They had to dash to the end of the road where Choji was waiting.

"Morning guys"

"Why's he here?"

"We often go together on the first day" Clearly he resented having someone else there when he wanted time with _his _Shika, but he'd have to deal with it. "Are you going to be ok on your own?"

"I'm not a pussy"

"You can be needy though"

"I'll just drag you home and rape you later"

"...I'll be looking forward to it"

-Page Break-

"You better not look at any of these women while I'm not here!"

"I never looked at them before so I'm hardly going to look now I've got you" This seemed to work.

"Hn" Before he could walk on Hidan grabbed him from behind.

"You do realise people are staring?"

"They're just jealous"

"...Is something wrong?"

"You'll never leave right?"

"Leave?"

"Me. On my own"

"For starters you live in my house so it'd be hard for me to leave. But also, I love you"

"That's good. If you hadn't given a good answer I was gonna tie you to the bed and cut your dick off"

"Lovely"

"I'll be waiting here so you better come right out or I'll go in there"

"I can bet you will"

As he walked off Hidan was still watching looking a little lost as he did. He hadn't known him for very long yet he didn't want to spend too long without him.

_My favourite fairy tale was true the whole time... _The thought made him smile. _... And I know it's going to have a happy ending._

_**Yes that was a cheesy line but I'm a sucker for those kinda things so I had to add one :L **_

_**And that is now the end of this story :3 It took me a while to figure out how to end it and I think this does it nicely. Thanks so much to everybody who has read it up till now and I hope y'all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it ^^**_


End file.
